Greatest Hits… #4

“Why are you writing blog posts on your birthday?” You might be asking yourself, while it is true, it is currently my birthday the fact remains that I still have nothing to do until I start my new job whenever that may be. Later on this evening I have a house warming party to attend, as I never really celebrate my birthday anymore, it means I don’t feel obligated to attend other peoples birthdays.

When I mentioned my massive circle of friends before, it got a bit ridiculous at one stage because it was someone’s birthday almost every week and if it was a females birthday they almost always wanted to do fancy dress (which I hate) so I suppose that’s a good part about having less friends is you spend less money. Though I never seemed to be short of it back then…

Anyway continuing on with the “Day of Positive Posts” comes #4 on my Greatest Hits list.

#4: First Kiss With Someone I Was Actually In Love With

For those that have been avid readers of my blog, you’ll know that for the last year and a half I have been going out with someone who I met through a friend. And by met through a friend I mean she was his girlfriend at the time of us initially meeting.

Don’t worry he was cool with it and actually got us together, for the last year and a half we have been a great team, always being there for each other when needed. But for some reason she couldn’t handle the fact that work was getting on top of me and decided to end it by text message. Had she waited three days, I’d have been all hers as I was fired that same week.

I now realize that I was never that heart broken over it, I was upset, but do I miss her? Meh. I loved her sure, but I can’t remember a time when I was ever IN love with her. We never had that honeymoon period, we just were.

A lot of my relationships have been like that, but there was one girl I really liked; she was absolutely gorgeous, she made me laugh, my eyes lit up whenever she walked into a room.

From the first moment I laid eyes on her I was hooked. She was actually a friend of my ex-girlfriends as they worked together at Ibis Hotel. (It’s a small town)

Eventually I managed to wrangle my way into getting a job at Ibis Hotel and I got to work with said girl, got to know her better. She helped me get better at my job when others weren’t all that interested, Ibis was probably my most favourite place of work, I only ended it because I didn’t get on with the manager all that much and because of that she wasn’t giving me the hours.

Me and said girl grew to become great friends over the year I worked there, she helped me quit smoking, by giving me the encouragement that others didn’t, I was helping her study for her Uni exams at work, sometimes at her place if we were both off work. Then came the night where she fell asleep on me while we were watching television; I carried her to bed and said I’d let myself out but she asked me to stay a minute, so I laid down next to her and we just cuddled, time seemed to have stood still.

Then out of the blue she kissed me, my entire body tingled with goosebumps. Was I dreaming? No, I wasn’t. The girl that I was secretly in love with kissed me, then we spent the next couple of hours just making out and then holding each other until the morning, staring into the darkness of the night.

One of the most memorable nights of my life, no girl has ever come close to gaining my affection the way she did.

But of course over the next couple of months it all fell apart, turned out she was actually in love with another man and paraded that fact in front of me knowing full well how I felt. It broke my heart, I turned back to cigarettes and hard alcohol to numb the pain, love turned to hatred.

I’m over it now and we’re back on speaking terms, but I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to be in a real relationship with her. Even though it ended badly, for that one perfect moment, I was with the girl of my dreams.

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5 thoughts on “Greatest Hits… #4

  1. Don’t bring yourself down on your special day. Or maybe you think of this in a positive way. You’re still in a break-up phase and who knows how long that will take to get out of. My non-serious suggestion would be to hang out at the Olympic games and score with a Russian gymnast. My more serious suggestion would be to focus yourself on something else (novel writing???) and the chips will fall into place. The worst thing to do is dwell on anything. It took me forever to get my first girlfriend. I finally gave up then a week later I met a girl. It ended abruptly but I stopped focusing all my energy on the one thing and lived my life and such and other nonsense.

    Again, have a nice birthday! You’ve almost outlived Cobain.

    • I’m not down, I just like the memory of what that moment felt like. The girl in question wasn’t my most recent girlfriend, who I’m over anyway. The best thing about being single is you don’t feel obligated to talk to anyone when you just want to be left alone. I think I’ll stick to bitches n hoes in the future. It’s what Gangsta Pete would want.

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