Lost And Found

When I came back from Scotland, the first thing I did was say hello to the animals, not literally because that’s mental. I mean I went to find them and pet them; to let them know that their real master has returned.

Missy my dog was delighted but then again, when I leave the house to go to the shop she leaps on me in a “WERE HAV U BEAN?!?!?!” kind of way, cool it pooch, I was only gone five minutes; if only women were like that right?

Then I’ll go and stroke my cats but they don’t give a fuck because they’re cats and they only like two things, being fed and catching random animals and plonking them outside my door. But never the less, I may as well pet them when they’re around.

I’ve only really liked three cats in my entire life, the first one was Mischief because he was proper ‘ard, he chased dogs away; hell when he was younger he caught a bird in mid-air, ripped off it’s head and presented it to me. That’s respect my friends. We got him when I was a kid, I can’t remember a time before Mischief was around, but alas with all animals they die before their owners, he got old, got some kidney/liver disease and had to be put down. I remember him swiping for the vet as he was sticking the needle in him. ‘Ard to the very end.

Then there was Ziggy, who we got not long after Mischief, eventually either by fighting other cats or otherwise she had to have an eye removed at a young age, I was about 5 when this happened; I still remember her eye being all purple and damaged, poor thing. She had it removed and the eyelid sewn shut but she managed all right and was alive for a long time after that had happened, she used to keep me company in bed when I was a kid, wait until I turn the TV off then come and lay alongside me and she’d be there in the morning; always a good start to the day.

She ended up dying a couple years before Mischief, I can’t remember what the exact reason was, I just remember her losing a load of weight and just being ill all the time.

My new favourite then became Suzie, unlike the previous two I actually remember her being a kitten and how playful she used to be when she was a little ball of fluff, jumping for my feet when hanging over the side of the bed, not sticking claws in or anything, just doing it to make you jump! Or she’d hide behind my bed, I’d look between the gaps in my headboard and she’d leap at me. She also used to be obsessed with licking people, I don’t know if she was washing them or loved the way humans tasted. You’d be asleep and you’d be awoken by the cold nose and sandpapered tongue swiping at your feet in the middle of the night!

Every day when I’d come home from work, I’d have my dinner, then the cat would come in and jump in my lap, lick either my arm or my hand for a few minutes then fall asleep, it was a nice welcome to have after a stressful day at the office. She ended up getting run over a couple years ago and a neighbour found her poor mutilated body in his garden.

Obviously I’ve had/got other cats, my mother always has three at a time, but I hate getting attached to animals now; each of the cats I mentioned above were awesome for their own reasons but when they go, you’re left with a void and I’m fed up of that, especially with cats because some of them have just left the house one day and never come back. Unless they’re mistreated, cats rarely actually run away, they usually get run over and go off and die somewhere. I had a cat called Tigger who disappeared one day, had him for about 8 years, it would have been a sad day but we didn’t get on. He wasn’t a friendly cat. When Suzie died, my mum got a kitten and named it Gizmo, it was a right little shit and that too ran away and never came home, I wasn’t all that bothered either.

Midnight Reading La Plume Noire

So to keep the quota she replaced Gizmo with Midnight who we’d only gotten recently, she was a nice cat, she kept my mother company the entire time she was ill and wouldn’t leave her side. She used to lay across my chest when I was asleep.

The day I came back from Scotland, last Monday, Midnight left the house that night, by Wednesday she hadn’t shown her face, by Thursday it was obvious she wasn’t coming back, she never leaves the house over night let alone be away for most of the week. I felt a bit sad, she was just a little thing who had probably died alone in a field somewhere; she was still new.

My mum phoned dad and said “looks like we’ll have to get another cat, Midnight’s ran away.” So my dad comes home Friday and me and him groan at the prospect and getting yet another cat but he does it to get a peaceful life from mother, so Saturday afternoon they go and get a new kitten off of a friend of theirs, a 12 week old little ball of fluff, named “Jay” because he’s white but has a black letter “J” on his back.

I come home Sunday after being at my friends the night before and I see the new kitten, give it a stroke, then my dad says, “Guess who came through the door last night?”

“Who?” I said.

“Midnight.” My dad says.

Apparently the cat came home early hours Saturday night looking as good as she’s ever been! So if she hadn’t been run over and killed, where the fuck had she been for almost a week?! I suspect she either got stuck somewhere, like a garage or someone just straight up catnapped her and kept her locked in a house, she managed to escape and came straight home. All I know is since Saturday she hasn’t left the house.

I wonder if she knows Jay was her replacement, maybe that’s why none of the cats like the little one. In any case, they’ll get used to him eventually and now we have four cats. =/

My mother is one step closer to being a crazy cat lady.

Still, kittens are the best.

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20 thoughts on “Lost And Found

  1. I had to stop at your first sentence to quietly laugh myself into a coma: the thought of you coming back to England and saying hello to all the animals like Doctor Doolittle, is bloody brilliant. ‘Son, you coming over for a cup of tea and to show us your photos?’ ‘No, Mum: I have to say hello to the animals, first. All the animals in ENGLAND.’ That’s WELL funny. :P

  2. “… not literally because that’s mental” – ha ha ha! :) I DO say hello. I say, “Hello, Gorgeous” to my cat Sparrow. I’m sure she knows what I’m on about. Would seem mental though, to a fly on the wall. … I don’t talk to flies on the wall, at least…

    Mischief is a gorgeous name for a pet – love it. Oh, you sound like a gorgeous guy! I love men who love animals!!

    • Well, to be brutally honest, I talk to them aswell, it’s my mothers fault she keeps asking the cats where they’ve been like they’re going to answer haha.

      If only all women had your train of thought, my last girlfriend hated cats :( but it’s okay because they hated her too. Hah!

      • :) I’ve heard what cats can be like when they “hate” you. I’m sure they PISSed her off…

  3. I adore kittens but am no longer so happy with cats as they kill and maim so many wild birds. I’m glad Midnight returned. The kitten’s probably just stealing her thunder, she’ll get used to it.

    At least you didn’t have the experience my dad had when he was a kid – his dog was stolen and he thought he’d never see it again, then a year later it arrived home – completely shaven!

    • It’s alright, my cats only kill mice, they leave the birds alone for the most part haha.

      As for your dads dog, I don’t know whether to laugh uncontrollably or be totally dumbfounded, who steals a dog, shaves it and returns it home?! That’s some Chinese prison stuff right there!

  4. I’m so glad Midnight came back :) This reminded me of Deric Longden’s ‘The Cat Who Came In From The Cold’ series, where in one book one of his cats goes missing, but does eventually return, being found under the floorboards of one of the nearby houses. He’s a brilliant writer, his stories are very touching and funny, I think you’d like him :)

  5. Well I’m glad the cat came back home. It is funny to think where it could have gone to. Like it may have had the most incredible journey ever or like you said, was just so incredibly stupid it got stuck somewhere.

    Tough cats are always awesome. A good cat grows up on the streets but also knows how to cuddle. One of the cats I grew up with had one good eye because the other was blind after a fight. That was the last fight he ever lost. He was a cat with vengeance.

    • Mischief was a badass, any cat that came into our garden that wasn’t any of the other two cats were in for it. Plus this big fat ginger cat once attacked my one eyed cat Ziggy, then Mischief runs in for the save and swipes the fuck out of that ginger bastard.

      When he was in the house he’d sleep at the top of the arm chair, watching, waiting. He was like the Chuck Norris of felines.

  6. Aww I love da lil kittehs. I’m glad the whole fam is back together though. Without Midnight it would’ve been sad. But yeah, that’s a lot of cats. Animals are awesome. I can’t wait until we get a house so I can get a dog and a cat!

    • It’s funny with cats and dogs, people think dogs and cats don’t get on, but after awhile they just exist together. Saw my oldest cat having a snooze with her head draped over the dogs paw earlier, so wish I’d gotten a photo.

  7. Pingback: Lost | Evolution Of Insanity

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