So since I started the new job last week I’ve had nothing but sleepless nights, not because the jobs stressful, the job in itself is very boring, unable to listen to music I’m just entering information on their system for 7 hours a day then I go home.
It’s not too bad though, the people that work there are pretty cool and I like to wind them up, mainly because 98% of the office consists of females, listening to them drone on about men all day was starting to really get on my nerves so I thought I’d pretend to be some what misogynistic and start spouting off things I don’t really believe but damn their reaction is funny.
After listening to my manager go on about how she’s juggling two men at once for 40 minutes to a pregnant lass, then the pregnant lass go on about having her child. I decided to get involved purely out of boredom. I said I’d never be having children, I wouldn’t be able to handle a baby.
Pregnant woman: What would you do if you got a woman pregnant?
Me: Well put it this way, if she isn’t on the pill, it’s not my problem.
*A round of gasps*
Me: She’d definitely be getting a roundhouse n all. The tart.
Woman: So you’ve never gotten anyone pregnant then?
Me: Why do you think I live in Chesterfield?
Me: Because I used to live in Liverpool, got some trout up the duff, got the fuck outta there the moment she told me. I’ve probably got a 5 year old son out there somewhere by now.
Suffice to say, I’m not well liked anymore, but now I could work in peace without them yammering on all day in my ear, I’m only there for two weeks so what do I care if they like me or not really? Plus if I ever did want to be liked, I’m a very charming guy and easy for people to warm up to.
The day after the same woman started talking to me again, about the conversation we had yesterday.
Woman: I’d have thought you’d be a nice guy.
Me: I am a nice guy, I’d treat anyone I went out with right, I’m very affectionate… up until she got pregnant, then dat bitch iz on her own yo!
The guys in the office found me hilarious, but we were vastly outnumbered.
Woman: Why don’t you like women?
Me: They’re just there to be shagged aren’t they though, don’t know why they’re even allowed to have opinions n shit, I don’t ask my right hand for an opinion do I? Lucky you don’t live in the fifties you, you’d constantly be getting black eyes for opening your mouth so much.
Then my manager went,
Manager: I’m glad I’m not with someone like you.
Me: I wouldn’t pay you to have sex with me.
Manager: I wouldn’t want you to pay me.
Me: Alright then, we’ll do it for free, but you better be on the pill.
Don’t worry, they’re not all offended, and no offense meant to anyone that reads this, just office banter to keep our minds from thinking how slow the day is going. I love watching their reaction thinking they’re so good despite the manager who said I’m everything she hates, is juggling two men. She’s everything I hate.
But anyway, as I said it’s not the job, I just think my sleeping pattern is screwed up beyond repair, with me being out of work for so long and before that having a job that didn’t start until 11am, I was always going to bed around 4:30am, getting up at 11:30-12:30 every day. Then I got this job where I have to set off at 6:30am, the first night before work I barely got any sleep at all, I finished work at three, went home, dozed off by half 4, was awoken when it was dinner time, back to sleep by 7, couldn’t keep my eyes open, normally that’d be fine but I woke up at half 12 and couldn’t get back to sleep.
So I stayed up all night, set off the work at the same time, finished at the same time, I think because the job is so boring and repetitive aswell, it makes me more tired. I got some around the same time, fell asleep around 6, woke up at 12, again I stayed up all night. Repeat the next night, getting less sleep each time.
It’s good in a way because it means I’ll never be late for work but bad because I’m missing my evening, it just seems I go to work, come home, sleep, wake up and stay in my room all night waiting to go back to work, no contact with my friends.
Friday night I fell asleep around 7pm, my girlfriend woke me up around 10:30 because she needed to pick some things up, from those three and a half hours sleep I had I was then wide awake all night, I tried to sleep but it just wasn’t happening, I finally fell asleep around half 7 this morning!! I set my alarm for 1pm so I wouldn’t miss the whole day but my alarm went off, I realised I had nothing to wake up for, so I went back to sleep! Woke up around 5pm, great so that’s my Saturday gone.
Last night though I think I couldn’t get back to sleep due to the worries that are constantly on my mind, such as money problems (I will be hitting £1300 in debt on Monday once the car insurance comes out.), work problems because after next week the temp position will be over and I’ll once again be out of work and just various other thoughts running through my head.
I know what I need to do though, I need to stay awake through tonight, keep my self up through tomorrow and fall asleep tomorrow night, that should hopefully reset my body clock and I’ll be back on a regular sleeping pattern, I’ve had bouts of insomnia before where I haven’t slept for three or four days at a time so this should be a piece of cake.
Then I’ll be able to enjoy what ever my birthday surprise is on Tuesday without wanting to just go to bed.
If only I knew where to acquire sleeping pills!