So today at work was going pretty normal as usual, having the occasional banter with people I work with, talking about various subjects. Today I got a complaint put in about me because some old woman who works on the other side of the office walked past and overheard a conversation I was having, she felt the need to pop over and comment…
Woman: Excuse me but I don’t think your conversation is suitable for an office environment.
Me: Yeah? Well you work over there, no one over here is complaining or offended so why don’t you piss off back to your own work station and stop ear wigging.
Then the manager had a word with me because the fucking bitch complained! Well sorry maybe I’ll go and stand over where she’s working and wait until she puts a foot wrong then.
Anyway what we were talking about was a condition I’ve been suffering for quite some time now, I call it piles or what it’s usually called, hemorrhoids. Imagine a bunch of grapes in your anus that are constantly causing pain and discomfort, that’s what I have, it’s a common thing so you all know what it is.
Anyway I’ve been suffering from piles for about six or seven months now and I can’t quite seem to shake it, the pain usually subsides after awhile until the next time I go to the toilet then it flares back up again! Recently I had to resort to using suppositories, or bum torpedoes as I call them as they’re basically torpedo shaped that you have to push up there, it’s not a pleasant thing to do either.
Normally if I have any sort of condition I’ll go to the doctors but I’ve been trying to put off going to the doctors for the longest time because not only is it embarrassing but I don’t want a doctor inspecting my anal canal! I feel the best way to sort this out is my trying methods without the use of a doctor.
So far the only thing I’ve tried is the suppository but that’s obviously not working so I need to try something else, apparently there are things called sitz baths, which is basically just sitting in a bath filled with water up to the hips. I don’t know how that works but it must be worth a try!
The reason I tell you all this, embarrassing as it is, is because I would like some additional feedback on what treatments seem to work best if you your self have suffered from such an affliction or you know someone else that has. It’s usually manageable but most of my day involves sitting (working in an office and the driving to and from work) so it doesn’t really help things. I can’t remember the last time I’ve sat in comfort.
I fear if nothing else works I will have to buck up and visit the doctor, my doctors female though and definitely the last person I want rooting around up there!