The Blogfather Trilogy: 3 – Leeds Festival

Final part of the trilogy is a blog about Leeds Festival, 2010 and 2011.

Going to a festival is always fun, I had only been to a small festival before last year in Wales called Wakestock, they didn’t really have much in the way of big bands at that one though as it wasn’t huge, it did have Moby and Fightstar on there though.

When my friends went to Leeds Festival in 2009 I was jealous to say the least because a lot of my favourite bands were playing (and headlining), bands like Radiohead, Kings of Leon, Kaiser Chiefs, Fallout Boy, Deftones, Brand New (Although I saw them at Wembley Arena last year), Lostprophets, AFI and so many others, I didn’t have the money then and back then didn’t care if I went into my overdraft or not. I also missed the alternative acts, which are basically comedy acts, gutted I missed Tim Minchin, who is an extremely funny guy.

So I managed to get a ticket for Leeds 2010, it was my first real festival, I didn’t camp at Wakestock as we were stopping at a friends beach house not too far away. But the line-up in my opinion wasn’t as strong as the previous year. I wasn’t really a big fan of the three headlining acts, Arcade Fire, Blink 182 and Guns n Roses.

The best live band I probably saw there was Limp Bizket, absolutely over the moon I got to see Fred Durst live, I’ve been a fan of his since I was a little kid! Played all his hits, the music was played perfectly, the crowd was going mental. Perfection.

The other bands that I enjoyed the most there were Lostprophets (Rare that a band plays two years in a row, happy they did because that meant I got to see them), there was a moment while watching Lostprophets a girl asked me if she could get on my shoulders and if the camera came on us she would “get her tits out”. I was more than happy to oblige being the gentleman that I am, but when the camera came to us and we were on the big screen she choked and said she daren’t whip them out, so I reached up and pulled her top down which received a massive cheer from thousands of people.

Biffy Clyro was also awesome, there was a funny moment when one of his amps blew in the middle of one of his songs, he stopped singing, unplugged the amp then threw it off the stage then proceeded to carry on singing! That’s rawk.

Also watched a band called Thrice, I’d seem them earlier in 2010 when they supported Brand New at Wembley Arena, I have since become a big fan of theirs.

Band Of Horses, Gogol Bordello (Check them out on YouTube seriously), Modest Mouse and Weezer were all great too, they were the main bands I can remember seeing.

In the alternative tent I watched comedians, most of them British, guys I have been watching on television for years so there was no way I was passing up this opportunity, Tom Stade who is an extremely talent comedian and had me crying with laughter, Stephen K. Amos, Russell Kane and quite a few more I’d seen. One guy, I can’t remember his name, some dirty twat was wandering shouting something during his set and he owned him with one comment.

Think you’re cool do you? Think you’re down with the kids? You’re more like a kid with downs, is that your mate or your carer? Yeah, there’s an ice cream truck outside, go have a lolly pop you window licking dickhead.

That was probably the single most funny moment in Leeds! The guy had nothing to come back with and just walked off like the little bitch he was! Amazing.

Guns N Roses were then 30 minutes late, last act of the weekend and they didn’t show up on time, we were lucky because two days before at the sister festival in Reading, they were an hour late and subsequently booed off stage. As they were only 30 minutes late a lot of people didn’t mind so much, because they had a time slot of 9pm-11pm due to the residents that live near by, they only had 1h 30m left to go, they played over the allotted time, it got to the point that they cut his microphone off, he probably thought he was being cool and fighting the man but he just embarrassed himself did Axl Rose. Then told the promotors of Leeds/Reading Festival to go fuck themselves and threw the microphone into the crowd.

I think the front man of Lostprophets summed it up best when he said that Axl was a joke and his bands a joke as well.

I was there for three days before I had to build myself up to use the toilet for a poo, it was probably the most unpleasant thing about any festival and I’m not looking forward to it this year either. Definitely taking some toilet roll this year too.

Just thought I’d throw that in there hah!

On the final night all the other camps closer to the main area started big fires, grabbing peoples tents and throwing them on the fire, bit of a prick thing to do really because you’re throwing someone’s possessions on a fire, but it was nice to watch, Sunday night everyone just goes mental.

CLUNGE CLUNGE CLUNGE CLUNGE!!

It wasn’t so bad where we were though, someone had set up a large circle made out of tent poles and were having sumo style wrestling matches. Already in the ring was a spry thin guy wearing a Rey Mysterio wrestling mask, he’d won like three people of equal size to him. He couldn’t have been more than 5’7, he asked if there was anymore challengers so I stepped in, he knew instantly he was in trouble. Instantly he got me in a headlock, so I picked him up with his legs and launched him about 5 metres into someones tent, every time he tried taking me down I just dominated him, I then launched him into a crowd of people that were booing at me. It was amazing, the atmosphere was epic. I had a “I ❤ Clunge” t-shirt on, the entire crowd was chanting “CLUNGE CLUNGE CLUNGE CLUNGE CLUNGE”, it was as if I was at an actual wrestling show. Loved every moment of it.

So after I defeated him, some girl wanted a go, I was a bit skeptical because I don’t like handling women, someone then shouted HARDCORE MATCH! and she hit me in the face with a boot.

“Fucking bitch” I thought, I then grabbed both of her tits, tripped her up and slammed her hard on the floor, turned her over, picked her up by her t-shirt and denim shorts and threw her out of the circle. All I could think of was “Heh heh, I touched her boobs.”

Such a child.

The second to worst thing about the festival is leaving, me and a mate had to drag the massive 9 man tent two miles back to the car in the car park, by the time we go there we were dying, got in the car and had to wait an hour to get back on the motorway with all the traffic.

This year I think the line-up is much better, I’m actually looking forward to all three headline acts.

Friday – Muse

One of my favourite bands of all time, I’ve wanted to see them for so long and now I finally get the chance.

Saturday – My Chemical Romance

Big fans of these as well, not as much as I like Muse but they’re pretty awesome.

Sunday – Pulp

Legendary band than spans four decades finally reunited earlier this year to perform live, Jarvis Cocker is a musical institution and I absolutely can’t wait to see these guys.

But apart from the headline acts there’s so many bands I’m looking forward to seeing, 30 Seconds To Mars, I was meant to see this in concert last December but ended up having to miss it due to leaving the country to work abroad. Gutted when I missed them but so excited to see them before My Chemical Romance on Saturday.

The Offspring, legends! I love their music, then there is Deftones who I missed in 2009, Rise Against, New Found Glory, Taking Back Sunday, The Strokes, Jimmy Eat World, Madness, Flogging Molly, and loads of other potentially good bands on the other stages.

Not only am I seeing a band that I always wanted to see and a band I was meant to see I also get to see Tim Minchin this year as he’s performing! I wanted to see him at Leeds 2009, I actually had a ticket to see him in concert in 2010, but again it was in December and was already in France, so this year is such a treat. There’s so many comedians I want to see this year too.

The only thing I’m not looking forward to is stopping in that 9 man tent again, the guide ropes are black so at night everyone’s tripping over the ropes and falling into the tent, not good when you’re trying to catch some sleep at 5am! Oh and of course the toilets. UGH.

That brings an end to the three blogs of the apocalypse. I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading them, if you’re going to Leeds and you see some tough looking bastard with a shaved head and wearing a I ❤ Clunge t-shirt, come and say hello! I’ll be camping in Green camp hah.

Once I come back from Leeds, possibly had some sleep I will blog about what bands I saw and what hijinks we got up to! To keep you entertained, here is some photos from last years festival!

Peace!

Wish I still had this hat...
She shouldn't have said hello!
I'm that 'Ard, I rape three men at once!
Photographed secretly!
'Ard!
I don't like being picked up...
Fro yes!
Essentials!
There's always one...
Not looking forward to dragging the 9 man tent back to the car...
English Breakfast, coffee and a cigarette
Suave as they come
The Group (Bar the guy that took the photo!)
We're not close friends...
This chubby fellow couldn't handle his drink!
Definitely be able to find our tent with this beast!
Main stage being set up
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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

4 thoughts on “The Blogfather Trilogy: 3 – Leeds Festival”

  1. It sounds amazing, and the pics are really good too! I’m sure that girl secretly actually rather enjoyed being exposed in front of thousands of people.

    1. Im sure she did! My report on Leeds 2011 will be up tonight, it’s been hectic this week, can’t believe it’s already been a week since my last blog!

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