Evolution Of Insanity

The name of my blog makes a perfect fit for the title of today’s post, I’ve been here sat work today, not having a cigarette since last night trying to block everything out of my mind, but you begin to realise how much everything fucking irritates you.

The prick that I’ve mentioned so much, he gets here at 8am, even though he doesn’t start until 9am, he just sits there annoying the people who do start at 8 and he only lives 15 minutes away from here so I don’t know why he needs to come in? Maybe because his pregnant horse toothed bitch of a wife hates him that much he feels the need to spend as much time away from home as possible.

So here I am, I’ve just nearly been hit by another car not watching what the fuck they were doing on a roundabout, and from the moment I arrive all I hear is stupid annoying fucking noises coming out of his mouth, making popping sounds with his mouth, singing, annoying other members of staff.

Stressing for a cigarette I just yell out, “FOR FUCK SAKE – SHUT THE FUCK UP! First thing in the morning and all I can hear is stupid fucking singing coming out of your mouth! I feel like jamming this pen in my ear!”

Then he goes “Can’t be as worse as a finger up your arse HAHAHA!” and carries on being annoying, he’s over 40 and he acts like a fucking child! Playing with teddy bears (And he doesn’t have children yet, he takes photos of them and sticks them on his computer), I just look at him with a deathly stare and reply with, “I’d rather have that done than put up with the shit that spews out of your retarded mouth.”

Then it goes quiet for a moment, then he carries on being annoying and singing away again, you can tell that the others are annoyed by it but they try to be polite and laugh it off, the thing is, he knows he’s being annoying, we keep hearing how people are moving desks upstairs ready for when he moves up there because they can’t stand him, that’s nothing to be proud of, and because the people on my team are laughing it off it’s giving him an audience so he feels the need to continue.

Then because I have had a go at him, he asks everyone in the team if they want a cup of coffee but me, purposely singling me out, like I’m fucking bothered? I’d have only thrown it in his face anyway. But it’s the same shit every day and does the new manager have a go at him? No because he and her are like that *cross’ fingers*.

Yesterday was funny because we were on about going out for our Christmas meal which is tonight, the day of pay-day. So we’re all out to a restaurant after work, I said to someone that I’ll have a couple of drinks as I’m driving and I don’t like chancing drink driving through Sheffield. (I’m not talking about driving when I can barely keep my eyes open, just… over the limit a little bit. It takes a lot of alcohol to get me drunk, in which case, I shan’t drive.)

Then he pokes his fucking nose in saying, “I’ll phone the police if you drink and then drive home. I’m being serious, I’ll shop you in!”

I just looked at him and said, “Mate you grass me up for everything else like the spineless worm you are, so that doesn’t surprise me, the only difference is, we’re outside of work and then you’ll have a whole new set of problems to deal with. Is me getting an £80 fine worth getting a broken neck and leaving your unborn child fatherless?”

My mate Mark started pissing himself as he joined in insulting him too saying, “I can imagine how many black eyes you got in school for grassing up kids smoking to the head teacher.”

No one else said anything, it’s almost like they secretly loved what we were saying but couldn’t join in as for some reason they’re up his arse. Everyone is looking forward to him leaving after the New Year, I knew my outburst would happen sooner or later, cutting down on smoking has made me incredibly moody but I’ve managed to bite my tongue as I have done for the past 3 months I’ve been here, today I bite it off!

The thing is, by the time he grasses me up to the police for drink driving (which he won’t out of fear of death) I’ll already be at home. Silly prick.

Then on top of that, people leave their phones off silent or vibrate, leave them on their desk then piss off out somewhere so when someone rings and doesn’t get the hint I have to listen to annoying ring tones all day! It seems everything is getting to me today, I’ve been awake since early doors this morning and all I want to do is go to bed.

But no, I have to go out on this stupid meal with people I don’t particularly like that much all because it’s Christmas in a month and it’s a free meal, I have to put up with this prick even longer cutting into my own time. It’s going to take all my restraint not to make him eat his own teeth!

Anyway rant over, on a side note someone said Happy Thanksgiving to me at work yesterday, we’re English, you stupid fuck.

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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

9 thoughts on “Evolution Of Insanity”

  1. Ah, Pete, you will always win the war of wit and violence against him 🙂

    I especially enjoyed reading this post as I am currently having problems with people at work myself. Plus that company I had the interview for were ‘going to’ offer me the job, but then ‘something came up’- it sounds like they’re downsizing. So they’re going to call me next week to let me know what’s happening.

    I’m going to spend my entire life in ASDA! *Sadface*

    1. You should have seen him, it was like five adults and a fucking child, yelling at other customers, singing loudly, yelling orders to the waiter while he’s waiting on someone else. Skipping back to his car on his own afterwards while a lot of shady looking gangsters watched him.

      Thinking about him makes my blood boil oooooh! Anyway, what problems are you having? Sucks about the company making you wait just to probably tell you no in the end (Pessimistic I know, but I’ve been there far too many times), just keep trying, you’ll get out of Asda one day 🙂

      My mate Will, Tesco is his life and you can tell, I can tell Asda won’t be yours 🙂

      1. My department’s just a very bitchy and back-stabby kind of place, and it’s taken me nearly three years to work out that pretty much everyone is exactly the same! But it’s fine, I just keep thinking, ‘hopes up high, head down low’. I’ll be out of there at some point. It might just take a little longer than I first expected 🙂

        1. I know what that environment is like! Don’t see the point in being two faced, it just means they’re too spineless to say anything to your face lol. Whatever you do don’t get a job in any type of call centre, you’ll literally tear your throat out with a fork.

  2. I know these kind of people. My suggestion, practice your knockout punch a few times a day. You are going to want to use it very soon.

    1. This morning I had urges to punch one of my monitors and throw it at the back of his stupid head, alas the first time I havent had a cigarette before work in a long time.

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