The Fail Factor

I have been quite open about the fact that I am an avid fan of the X Factor series, not just that but Britain’s Got Talent as well, I know people like to make fun of people that watch those shows but guaranteed you watch something even shittier than that.

Anyway, most of the time the music is better than your tastes to begin with! So shut up.

Oh right, I’m not talking to anyone… The reason we all watch these types of shows and that goes for American Idol aswell is because of one man…

That’s right, Simon Cowell, the most evil man on the planet but also the one man who brings in the ratings for these kind of shows, in my opinion it’s pretty pointless having the other judges on the show, doesn’t matter who they are because the only opinion people care about is Simon Cowell and if he wants something to happen like having four contestants through to the next round instead of three, he makes shit happen and boom, there’ll be four contestants.

The show had also showcased some great talent over the years on both sides of the pond and they’ve made a lot of money, not all the winners have worked out but not all of them will, but there’s one thing that differs between our singing talent shows and America’s singing talent shows and that’s we take the piss, A LOT.

No doubt you’re bound to get all kinds of freaks appearing on these shows, thinking their great at singing because their tone-deaf boyfriend has heard them and is trying to get a blow job out of it or their parents want to live their lives vicariously through them so they build them up to be something they’re not and most of the time they’re turned away, from the little amount of American Idol and X Factor US that I’ve seen, they tend to take their shows more seriously, I can’t remember any bad singers getting through to the final live show stages.

I certainly can’t recall anyone like Jedward, Diva Fever, Same Difference, Johnny Robinson or Kitty Brucknall getting through to the finals, usually every year there is a novelty act in our shows that one of the judges really likes and the other really hates, usually between Cowell and Louis Walsh, they get eliminated eventually but it’s because of this that we were exposed to the cancer that is Jedward all over the country.

Two young men who I’d love nothing more to put in shallow graves. Seriously it’s like they were grown rather than born and anyone from the UK that know of them will back me up on this.

They should never had reached the finals but yet the ratings stay up because Cowell is on the show airing his disappointment, however this year saw a massive change to the panel as Cowell went back to America to start X Factor USA, obviously there’s going to be a bigger music industry over there.

With him gone he was replaced with Gary Barlow of Take That, the most boring man on the planet trying to be a poor mans Simon Cowell, coming out with underhanded comments that offend people then quickly retracts his statement when they complain, if he said the comment he should stand by them not quickly kiss whoever he’s offended’s arse.

Then Cheryl Cole was also meant to go to USA and be on their show but apparently no one over there can understand the Geordie accent so she got the chop, which is bollocks, of course they can understand her! Their ignorance knows no bounds, just like how they subtitle English fighters in UFC! Ridiculous, we don’t subtitle Kelly Rowland!

So Cheryl was replaced with Tulisa from N-Dubz, while she had a sexy face, I hate N-Dubz and that entire genre of music, then you have Kelly Rowland replacing Danni Minogue who hasn’t been relevant since Destiny’s Child, mind you, Danni hasn’t ever been relevant so it makes sense and then of course the permanent fixture of Louis Walsh who they all want to get rid of but he’s like a cockroach.

He was actually fired and replaced once before but Cowell brought him back, then he wasn’t meant to be on the show this year but signed his contract before ITV realised they wanted him gone so don’t expect him to be back.

But through all the shit acts in the past we usually get down to some talented finalists, this year, I just don’t see it. They’ve all made poor decisions, with Cowell gone the ratings have gone way down, to the point that a dancing show headed by Bruce Forsyth who is now at least 263 years old has over taken them.

What good acts they had left this year either were eliminated in boot camp or in the early stages of the competition, but I had my number one pick since the series began and she was Janet Devlin, I instantly fell in love with her the moment I heard her sing and I backed her to win, say what you will about her, she has a unique voice and so what if she messes up? She’s still young! She was doing very well until this past weekend when she messed up her lines to MMMBop by Hanson, are you serious? Who is giving this girl these songs?

I mean boo to her for messing up the lyrics to a song that only has five words but the song choices by the judges have been appalling this year. Then once the ratings go down due to all these poor choices we suddenly get these staged arguments that takes the spotlight AWAY from the contestants. They wonder why the ratings haven’t increased? Because we’re not stupid and we know they’re staged! This whole year is just boring and now that the only person I was rooting for is gone due to poor talent handling from the judges, that’s this years X Factor over for me.

There is simply nothing left that interests me now, everyone left in this competition is either the same old shit we’ve heard before or just not worth listening to.

I am beginning to think, with Cowell now focussed only on the US X Factor, has our X Factor had its day?

Fare Ye Well Janet. Hopefully you’ll improve and finally make sweet musical love to my ears.

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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

10 thoughts on “The Fail Factor”

  1. I liked Janet too. But I agree the judges gave her really bad songs. And why did they dye her hair bright orange??? Bad decisions were definitely made. It’s a shame, but I wish her the best of luck in the future.

    1. I know, the hair looked pretty bad, they keep trying to change the acts we fall in love with in the audition shows, this is who we like, this is why we watch, why would they change it?

      Utter stupidity.

  2. I actually teared when Janet got kicked off LOL. I loved her ‘save me’ song. It was sooooo made for her.

    She was insanely adorable. I reeeeeally hope she brings out her own music :/ *sob sob*

        1. Didnt even see her Hanson performance, I don’t want my opinion of her to be lowered by singing a crappy song haha, it’s a relief that I don’t have to watch it anymore this year though. I hope Rage Against The Machine gets to Number 1 again!

  3. I don’t watch these types of shows, X-Factor, America’s Got Talent, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars… Not a big musical watcher either, but you did point me to Janet Devlin and I agree with you, she’s an angel 🙂 I loved her the first time I saw her too.
    But, watch or not, I do enjoy your rants 😀
    Cheers!

    1. I do like Britain’s Got Talent, there’s actually some impressive people on that and the thing is, the winner performs in front of the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance so you know someone good has to win that otherwise Cowell gets executed (Seriously it’s in the rules). I’ve seen America’s Got Talent, I dunno what it is but I just HATE Jerry Springer. Why isn’t he dead? Why has he stopped aging?

      Anyway, Janet Devlin will hopefully make it on her own, if not, I’ll just keep watching her YouTube channel 🙂

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