How Do They Get Dressed In The Morning?

Today was going to be another one of those “What am I going to write about?” days, as the past couple of days have been really quiet, apart from my going to the gym yesterday and stopping a weight from dropping on the floor with my foot (yes I know) and me having an insane sleeping pattern going to sleep at 8 this morning and waking up at 3:30 in the afternoon not much as happened.

But low and behold something always goes off where I live, like today for instance some stupid cow left her car parked outside my house, got in another car and went off somewhere, this was at 10:30am but she’d left it parked almost opposite the car across the road meaning it was difficult for busses to get through and traffic in general.

I had trouble in my little Fiesta so I don’t know how busses have managed it all day.

Anyway, just about to tuck into my pie and chips when I hear a lot of beeping, a bus outside can’t fit through the gap between the two cars, the owner of the car that left it there this morning is nowhere to be seen, the owner of the car across the road is an inconsiderate idiot and refuses to move is, the bus driver yells at him which only makes it worse and the bloke goes back in his house.

Meanwhile that bus is blocking the entire road off on my street refusing to move, rather than reverse up the street and go the long way round, just sits there, I felt sorry for the passengers, they had places to be and because of two inconsiderate idiots they were going to be late.

My mum who has a need to poke her nose into everything went and had a word with the bus driver telling him we don’t know where the owner of the car is.

While this is happening another bus coming the opposite direction arrives, further blocking traffic, the cars end up driving on the pavement to get past, one of them almost hit an elderly gentlemen who could barely get out of the way fast enough.

The man across the road said he’s not moving out of principle, well it’s not the drivers fault, he’s trying to do his job and it’s not the people who are now stuck in a traffic jam, it’s the fault of the woman who left her car there.

My mother having a word with the filth

Eventually the police arrived, they had a word with the bus driver, then they had a go at the bloke across the street, told him to move the damn car because, “There’s no need for this to bed happening!”

Then they take the registration down of the car outside my house, have another go at the bloke across the road and then they piss off.

This spanned across about two hours all because of a woman who stupidly left her car there rather than find a better place to park it, I left a note on her wind screen, warning her the police have taken her details and not to park it on the street again, the fact that she just left it there when she could clearly tell it would cause traffic problems is just mind boggling.

She came back around 7ish, a friend had dropped her off, read the note, threw it on the floor and drove off. What a fucking cow, I did take a rather windy video of what was happening, I said at the end of the video I was going to let her tires down but I ended up not doing as the police arrived soon after, but if she leaves it there again and she hasn’t heeded my warning, it’s definitely happening!

But between her and the pig headed idiot across the road and the stupid bus driver who just thought it’d be best to sit in the middle of the road, how do these people manage to get dressed in the morning?

At least it made my evening more entertaining!


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

7 thoughts on “How Do They Get Dressed In The Morning?”

  1. Oh God, I’m laughing SO HARD at the note you left her. Pete, you’re a freaking legend! Leg. End. I half expected you to take a club to her head, but I’m sure she got the message anyway… ‘Regards, EVERYONE!’ 😀 Love it!

  2. You are one messed up human being, but in a good way. I say it with all the respect in the world for your comedic skills, your excellent writing abilities, and the insanity of your life. I’m surprised you’re not right now clinging to the boot of her car as she careens down winding streets in a desperate attempt to escape you. Thanks for a good laugh.

  3. Good post… Just killing some time rubbaging around and found your page. Great looking website. I’ll have to add the page to come back and see what’s new. Cheers

  4. Top bit of note crafting there Mr Howorth.

    The woman is bloody stupid and deserves to be shouted at but it was more of a mistake than anything else – I am gobsmacked at the behaviour of the other bloke who wouldn’t his car, what a dick.

    1. Too rate he is, it’s not the bus drivers fault he couldn’t get through, not moving it out of principle until the police told him to was fucking stupid, three busses filled with people all delayed because of him.

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