What Is It?!

The Red Box Is Mine... Not The Purple Barbie Ones (Awh)

Further screwing up my ever-changing sleeping pattern I fell asleep at 6pm and woke up at midnight, *sigh* so I came online, the usual stuff and whatnot, then I went for a smoke, walking around the back garden I looked in through the dining room window and saw some wrapped presents on the table.

Intrigued after I finished my cigarette I went in the dining room and had a look, most of them weren’t mine, they’re for my cousin and her husband and daughters, but then there’s this one, cube shaped that is addressed to me!

What is it?! I was pretty much told that I’d be given money this year and that’s fine with me because that’s what I could do with over this holiday season with all the partying I’m going to be doing and with my ever rising overdraft it’s the perfect gift. I get money every year off of the parents, occasionally my car will break down and my dad will pay for it and that will be classed as an early Christmas present, but my mum always sneaks some money into a card regardless.

I did the old pick up the present and shake it trick, I don’t know when this trick has ever worked, unless it’s a book or a picture or anything else flat then it could be anything.

Then I began to think, maybe it’s aftershave (cologne)? She does sometimes get me that, but then I began to think, well what aftershave is it? What aftershave comes in a box this small? Then I began to mentally image every type of aftershave I could think of on the shelves at Boots, they usually come in taller boxes!

What if it’s a watch? Although my mum always says I have too many watches, even though I have one that actually works, two broken ones and one that needs a replacement battery. That’s the kind of idiot I am though, once a watch breaks or runs out of juice, rather than getting it mended I’ll just go and buy a new one.

She wouldn’t buy me a watch anyway… It can’t be jewelry? It’s not rattley enough for it to be jewelry…


It’s gotta be aftershave and after the mental scanning it can only be Hugo Boss, the one that’s in a ball and you squeeze from the bottom.

This is what my detective skills have come up with, if it is I shall have to fake looking surprised, if it isn’t then I guess I’ll actually be surprised.

This is why I hate surprise Christmas presents, because then I obsess over what it is and for someone with borderline OCD, that’s never a good thing!

EDIT: Checked against some Hugo Boss I already had and the dimensions aren’t correct! Plus what ever is inside rolls around, it’s ball shaped all the way round! WHAT IS IT?!


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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

12 thoughts on “What Is It?!”

    1. Man if only, I could do with a new one after the amount of dodgy greasy food I’ve ingested today!

      “Av a sandwich!”

      “Im alright cheers.”

      “But they’re free.”

      …*takes sandwich*

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