Much much drinking to be done this weekend, I’m already feeling the effects after last night! House party at my mate Phil’s new place in Sheffield then we headed into the centre to get even more intoxicated, busted out some moves on the dance floor in Babylon and there’s always someone out for a fight it seems.
I was on the dance floor with this girl and another mate, headed back over to Phil and he’s having an argument with some lanky streak of piss. I interject and say to Phil, “What’s up with her?” while pointing to the bloke he’s arguing with. I then get involved because I always have everyone’s back and ask him what the deal is.
He says Phil’s been stood there all night giving him the daggers (staring at him). I told him he’s been over on the dance floor with me most of the night to which he replies, “No he fucking hasn’t. He’s been stood here staring at me.” So I said “Are you calling me a liar? My mate’s not even a violent man!”
“Neither am I.” He says.
“Yeah? Well I fucking am so why don’t you fuck off.” I replied. Adrenaline coursing through my body.
Then a man who can only resemble the size of WWF wrestler Yokozuna approached and asked me if I had a problem with the guy I’m yelling at, I said no he’s got a problem with my mate and I want to know why.
“He’s my cousin.” He says.
“I don’t want a history of your family tree, cousin or not just keep him away, no sense is us going at it over that fool.” I replied.
Luckily he saw sense and dragged his cousin away and shook my hand. I don’t even think a guillotine choke hold would have taken that fat bastard down! I’d have tried but I’m glad I dodged that bullet, the last thing I need before Christmas is a hospital trip hah!
Carried on partying for another hour then we headed to the casino for some reason.
“Just going to spend £30.” Phil says.
I sighed and went with it, two hours later he’s £260 down. I didn’t spend anything because I really can’t afford to lose anymore. As soon as we walked in the casino Phil had a Santa hat on, some Denzel Washington looking mofo stormed up to us..
“Take the fucking hat off, take the hat off now!” He yells.
“Alright mate, calm down, it’s only a santa hat it’s Christmas you know.” Phil says.
“I don’t give a shit about Christmas, I know more about Christmas than you’ll ever know!” The bouncer carried on yelling.
I don’t even know what that meant. Anyway he took the hat off and put it in his pocket then I turned to the bouncer and said, “Whose lit the wick on your tampon?” He didn’t appreciate that.
“Do you want chucking out yeah?!” He asked me impolitely.
“Fuck off.” I said, “You came over here screaming and swearing at us because he had a santa hat on at Christmas, acting like I’ve walked in your house and pissed on your kids or something, we’re not here to cause trouble just to lose some money.”
Then another guy came in wearing a Santa hat, the bouncer clocked him and stormed over to him obviously to give him a lecture too. Don’t understand why people need to be such pricks to others, it’s bouncers like that that cause more trouble than stop.
Got back at 5am, had four hours sleep because I parked my car is a dodgy part of Sheffield so I dreamt that I went back to where my car was parked and it’d been stolen, I woke up in a cold sweat and just watched Jurassic Park 3 on my iPod until everyone else woke up. Luckily my car was intact!
Soon I’ll be doing it all over again tonight at a house party in Chesterfield and then tomorrow I’ll be at my brothers getting drunk there. I’ll need about three days sleep after all of this.
And we’re not even close to New Years yet!
I hope you all have an awesome Christmas tonight/tomorrow and you don’t do yourself too much damage!