“Stupid F**king DULLton”

Happy New Year everyone! It’s finally 2012, good riddance to last year. Last year was pretty poor and filled with bad luck. Screw last year! It’s now this year, a new year, Two Oh One Two! This year is going to be better I can feel it in my waters.

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend, I sure did. Although after a weekend in the piss poor weather, a hell of a lot of cigarettes and too much alcohol I’m definitely worst for wear at the moment. At several points of the day it’s felt as if my chest is trying to escape my body.

I spent New Years down in Brighton where my mate Gregg now lives, he invited us down last minute and we either didn’t have anything better to do or just no plans at all so we arranged things on the Thursday and by Friday morning there was a definite plan sorted. 8 of us shared New Years in total, I drove four of them down in my car which was really irritating. First off Gregg wanted to set off at half 8 as it’s a 3h 30m drive to get there. He was taking his girlfriend and friend Phil, I was taking the rest. I was meeting three of them at a mates house in Chesterfield as the other three lived in Sheffield, told them to be here for half 8.

“Ard” on the number plate. Too rate!

They arrived at half 10 because Jake is extremely lazy. Didn’t even set his alarm until half 8! Anyway we eventually set off, another friend, though not a close one by any means; Sean, kept playing every kind of music I don’t like, “Skrillex” and “Deadmou5” are just two of them he kept blasting out of my speakers and God knows what else. Dub Step, Trance, House, Dance… He said it’s better than the shit I listen to however I told him, I don’t need to be pilled up and coked up to enjoy the music I listen to.

He keeps showing me live gigs he went to on YouTube and his stories always start off with, “Mate I was on about 15 E’s at this point!”

We both have very strong personalities which has its good points and its bad points. He brags far too much about stuff greatly exaggerated by himself and tries to prove how much tougher he is than me, however the past two times he wanted to test that logic he failed. Two years ago at a New Years Eve party I put him to sleep in a guillotine choke hold. While I don’t know much, I am quite versed in submission fighting which I keep reminding him when he pisses me off. I am the one person that can get away with saying and doing half the stuff I do, it’s all good fun.

After the hellish drive we were about 5 minutes away from Gregg’s house in Brighton and my clutch burnt out. Whatever gear I put it in I was just greeted with a symphony of revving noises. It was because I held it on the biting point too long, uphill on a red light so it was just overheated. (Which is a good job otherwise I’d still be stranded in Brighton, £500-£600 for a replacement clutch!)

Headed for the supermarket straight away to get some alcohol and food, had both, played drinking games then headed out at night. Went to a few bars and celebrated the New Year, although I almost missed it because I was having a piss when I heard people counting down from ten, never forced so much wee out in such little time in my life!

I have a weird tradition with one of my mates Jake that we kiss when the clock strikes 12. It stems from when we were at a poor excuse for a house party four years ago, everyone was kissing when the clock struck 12 apart from us two so we thought, “What the hell?” However each year the kissing seems to get more graphic, this year was described as far too disturbing for two straight men. Well Brighton is the gay capital of England so you know… When in Rome and all that!

Woke up extremely ill the morning after, having consumed far too much alcohol and at least 30 cigarettes (COUGH). There goes that quitting nonsense I was talking about! I had to share a hard as fuck sofa bed with my mate Alex and his girlfriend Stacey, while listening to the shit music next door was playing UNTIL EIGHT IN THE MORNING! Every half an hour me and Stacey would look at each other and go, “They’re still playing music!” Alex was passed out, he woke up and said, “What music?” Lucky bastard.

That drunk couldn’t even manage a threesome

I probably got about two hours worth of sleep that night, the next day Gregg thought it’d be a good idea to walk into Brighton and go to the pier. A 30 minute walk in pissing rain, Alex then said;

“Brighton? BRIGHTON? Fucking DULLTON!” It had literally hammered it down with rain the entire two days we were there! We soon got there, had a thrash in the arcade and then went to the cinema and watched Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol which is better than I expected it to be! After then we went to a few more pubs and ended up at the casino.

Do Want

The casino is a real hero story for me, I hadn’t been since last April after I got fired from Dixons. I lost £60 and vowed never to go again! I hate losing. I lost £20 straight away on the roulette table. I convinced myself not to waste anymore money as money is extremely tight at the moment. I did however draw out another £20, I managed to double my money and break even but I wanted to win more. I got to £60 meaning I was £20 up but then started getting cocky and putting £10 bets down and losing every time, tried a Black or Red £5 bet and lost that. Absolutely gutted, I had lost £55 in such little time!

Although there were these two Russian’s that just kept throwing 100s of pounds away, putting a shit load on several numbers and winning nothing, they lost about two grand at that table at least. Who are these people?! I’d love to earn what they do… Although they probably leave horses heads in people’s beds… They were definitely dodgy.

I just thought “Fuck this, I’m ready to go.” Put the last £5 chip on the number 10. The table spun, the ball flew off the table. There was only me there at the table, it was about 3am at this point, only me and Sean remained. The guy spun again, it clinked almost landing in 20 something, it bounced out and landed in… 10! BOOM! 36 to 1 on a five-pound bet made me £180! I suddenly went from being broke to being £140 up from what I originally spent! I cashed out straight away and quit while I was ahead. Me and Sean walked back to Gregg’s house. We were discussing an altercation him and Alex had the night before, Sean has bi-polar and was on a downer when New Year hit, Alex being drunk kept annoying him, they kicked off. I interjected because I like Alex more than Sean and Sean was just being a prick.

Instead of getting into a fight with him I calmed the situation down, Sean had a cry and went off upstairs somewhere. We were having a joke on the way back, he was saying it’d have been a good fight but he’d have definitely won. I said he’s always welcome to try at which point he tried wrestling me to the ground in the middle of the street. I locked on a guillotine choke and dropped him AGAIN! I told him he’ll learn one day. He said, “…Let’s just go back, I’m tired.” which I took as accepting defeat. Got back to the house, we were going to share the double bed along with Jake however he was listening to his shit music again at full blast. How can you go to sleep with that blasting out? He kept trying to ram his headphones in my ears, instead of choking him out for a third time I just went and slept downstairs with Alex and Stacey.

Phil, Stacey, Sean, Alex, Me and Gregg – Not Happy

Said our goodbyes the morning after as Sean was going back to his house in Bristol, I drove four friends back to Chesterfield in what was another long drive although it was a lot more entertaining without Sean in the car. He’s alright for about five hours then you soon really start to get sick of him! Don’t worry, I tell him this. Got home without the clutch burning out again and now on the path to recovery.

That was basically my New Years weekend! There are other things I could have included but I can’t be bothered and it’d make this post far too long! I could write a biography on what happened this weekend, much, much, MUCH better than last years New Years Eve.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

5 thoughts on ““Stupid F**king DULLton””

  1. I fricken hate sofa beds… I’d rather sleep on the floor, ha

    And futons, blech, lol

    Welcome Back, and Happy New Year, and Gratz on the Win


  2. Nice job on the gambling, we went, too, last Thursday night… Not as lucky as you, not this time. 🙂
    Sounds like a you had a pretty good weekend, except for your poor lungs!! Give it up!! 🙂 If I can – anyone can! 🙂 Just sayin’ …

    Pete, It’s been a pleasure following your life this past year and I’m looking forward to seeing what you do with 2012. I wish you all great things and hope you are happy and healthy. Good luck job hunting, as well, I know you’ll find something you like. Chin up.

    I received a new cookbook for Christmas so I’ll be making and posting from it soon 🙂
    If you ever want a batch of cookies, just shoot me your E-mail 😀

    Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR, ‘Ard, and here’s to another!!!
    Thanks for being around 🙂 Cheers Mate. 😀

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