Job Agencies

Well it’s the start of a new working week and you know what that means; the start of looking for more work. Pointlessly calling the job agencies to see if they have anything only to be told that they’ll let me know when I am almost certain that they won’t.

While a lot of my jobs have been temping roles I’m quite surprised how I even get these jobs. If there’s one thing that annoys me more than applying for a shed load of jobs and not hearing anything back for any of them is signing up to an agency and then being blatantly ignored.

Naturally it’s in the agencies best interest to find you work because they only get paid when you get paid. Unless you’re a “new age” agency and you demand money first!

Everytime I phone the same select agencies that are in my area they always say, “Are you registered with us.” and I always say, “Yes.” which in turn they always say, “Who did you register with?” and that leads me to reply with, “You.”

I’m sure it’s a difficult job trying to find everyone a job, you’re bound to forget people. But seriously, the same woman asked me 8 or 9 times once who I’d registered with. I’d been in to see her face to face, over the phone. I’m sure after I’ve seen someone 8 or 9 times I would at least remember their bloody face.

I hate registering for agencies, it takes me about an hour to fill out the application form because they want to know every single job I’ve had and every single start and end date. Well I’ve had plenty of jobs and I’m thinking the next time I register just put a few of them down, I’m sure they don’t even check it anyway. In fact I’m pretty sure once you’ve filled out the registration form it goes straight in the bin and your name is forgotten about before you even exit the door.

There’s one of the agencies in the town centre called Thorn Baker. Recently they were advertising a number of Production Operative roles on the Job Centre website. Should they not be calling their existing members first? Regardless, I called the agency about them and all I got off the annoying idiotic Scottish receptionist was;

“Oh he’s on lunch at the moment.”

“What at half past three?” I’d reply.

I think this is their stock excuse, “Just tell everyone I’m on lunch.” This other agency I was signed up to, the woman was on “lunch” for about 3 hours. No wonder she was the size of a whale. So I gave her my name and number and she assured me I’d be called back once he’s back from “lunch”.

As you can guess I never got called back, so I e-mailed him directly about the job openings. Didn’t get an e-mail back either! That’s just rude, he’d have checked his e-mails. Saw mine in the inbox, read it and blatantly ignored it. What an absolute prick. I know the general type of people that work for agencies are retards so I hope he gets a bad rep for sending idiots down. When you have actual people with an actual IQ (though mines probably diminished since the head injury) looking for work you should favour these people.

I guess this week I’ll take the old approach of constantly hammering them asking for work and don’t let them go until they find me something.

My sister-in-laws mate used to work for an agency and she’d always say how working for an agency is hard work, trying to find people jobs all the time. Yeah? Well your job would probably be a whole lot easier if you weren’t high on crack all the time.

How do these people even get work anyway? Let me work in an agency. At least I’d remember your name.

Even the Toyota job is through an agency, though I think you get taken on permanent if you actually get the job, I think Blue Arrow are just doing the recruiting.

Another job idea I had as well as getting a HGV license was getting my SIA license and becoming a security guard or something along the lines of that. Getting a shiney badge, a hat and a torch. I’d be well sick at that.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

10 thoughts on “Job Agencies”

  1. I like the your idea of becoming a security guard. Oh holy sh*t I feel sorry for anyone that wandered into your area on your watch! 😀

    I just applied for probably 12 positions at Home Depot again (not sure if you have them over there – home improvement retail) but I’ve worked for them before and I am afraid I’ll actually get it since I left on good terms and they begged me to stay. Not that I don’t want to work, but most of the positions deal with people and I’m bloody sick of people in general. Afraid I’ll go ape crazy on someone if I have to calm one more snotty person down because they can’t find the specific plant they’re looking for or something so NOT serious and the like. Sound like a grouchy old lady, don’t I? Well, I am…. ha.
    Keep up the search – something is bound to come your way. When do you talk to Toyota? Are you still interested in it. I’m good with things that pay well – don’t mind the heavy work although. I’ve applied at several warehouses… don’t think they want a 47 year old “lady” though – so probably guys like you are taking all of the jobs I’m applying for… haha.


    1. I’d be an awesome security guard, I’d bust a skull for £10 an hour 😀

      We don’t have Home Depot but we have them sort of stores, sort of like B&Q over here. You don’t sound grouchy at all, just experienced, like me and the woman moaning about her fridge at 8am on a Saturday morning at the call centre I worked at.

      My first assessment for Toyota is Thursday afternoon, it might be an ok job but it’s a 40 minute drive without traffic. The amount I’ll be spending on petrol will be ridiculous!

  2. In fairness, my lunch is going to finish at 15:30 today because I’ve been busy doing stuff. Stuff I say!

    I think hammering away at them is always a good idea. They’ll get fed up of being hammered at some point and skulk away into misery, which will leave you victorious.

    I think you’d be good at being a security guard! You’d have an excuse to get horribly violent towards people. Awesomeness!

    1. Awh and you’ve come to visit me on your lunch break! 😀

      I’d just be cracking random people with my baton. “He’s coming right for us!” *crack*

  3. Ugh find a job is the absolute worst. It’s so disappointing when you’re actually putting in effort but you don’t get rewarded for it.
    I’m in that awful place where I don’t have any experience because no one will hire me, and no one will hire me because I don’t have any experience. EXTREME SAD FACE.

    1. Awh I know how that feels. Certain jobs I wanted to do in the past that say, “5 Year Experience Wanted” and there was a point where every single job listed wanted experience and I thought, how do you GET experience?!

      My solution is lie on your CV/Resume and list one of your friends as a reference 😀

  4. You’d almost think they didn’t want you to work and rather you die in the street…

    “I think this is their stock excuse, “Just tell everyone I’m on lunch.” This other agency I was signed up to, the woman was on “lunch” for about 3 hours. No wonder she was the size of a whale. So I gave her my name and number and she assured me I’d be called back once he’s back from “lunch”.” – amazing observation. It’s really upsetting that the people who are supposed to be helping us are always such gigantic gluttons.

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