The Head Office

If Only I worked In A Head Office Like This...

On my one day off I’ve done nothing but sleep today it seems. Wednesday on my first 12 and a half hour shift I was stressed, I had 8 orders I needed to be sent out that day, three other items that I needed to get sent out that were physically on my desk and countless orders to chase.

Needless to say it was a very stressful day at the office that day. There was much shouting coming from my mouth and when I shout, people listen due to the “booming voice” that I have. I’m like a white Barry White.

Thursday I was given the day off (and I was still busy that day) which I didn’t want because I wanted to work with Michelle, she only does three days a week and we work well as a team when she’s in. But alas I wasn’t there, she had a terrible day and told me that she wants to quit and go elsewhere. I convinced her to stay. Then Friday it was another 12 and a half hour shift and I was left with all the work Michelle didn’t complete the day before because she wasn’t getting the support she needed from the new manager.

So I have a stack of paper an inch thick to wade through as soon as I got in. I didn’t even have the energy to get stressed. My manager asked me what was wrong and my reply was, “I’m just… broken.”

I just plodded on, I got everything done that day, I got home at half 9 and just went straight to bed. Woke up Saturday morning, I managed to swap my Sunday for Saturday so I could work with Shell, Saturday we managed to get a lot of stuff done and it’s to the point now that I’m going to start work Monday with a clean slate.

I got all my shit done at last.

But of course there’ll be more and it’ll be another stressful day with it being 12 and half hours again. I can’t do many more of these!

Than I have to come home from all of this to dodge the diseases my parents have. Between my dad having the “flu” and coughing as loud as he can at four in the fucking morning and my mum asking me if I want anything to eat while sneezing everywhere the last thing I need is to get ill.

On Saturday I got this phone call from some bloke, complaining.

Not complaining about the service or anything like that… But complaining that his partner is doing an apprenticeship at one of our stores and her hours have been cut in half.

Are you fucking serious? I remember the conversation like it was just yesterday.. Oh wait, it was.

Man: She’s working at your *INSERT STORE HERE* store and her hours have been cut in half and too be honest I’m not very happy about it.

Me: Right… Have you tried, I don’t know, talking to the manager of the actual store about it?

Man: No.

Me: Has she tried talking to the manager about it?

Man: Well no.

Me: Right okay so why have you decided to phone the INTERNET SALES line before doing anything else? What do you want me to do about it? Sell you a tent to live in?

Man: I thought I rang the customer service number.

Me: You didn’t, you rang the sales line. Even if you rang the customer service you’re not even a customer. Your partner needs to be talking to the manager of the store and if that doesn’t work then you get in contact with the area manager. You do not call the head office. You’re lucky I’m not going to tell the manager at *INSERT STORE HERE* what you’ve been doing because instead of reduced hours she could have ended up with no hours.

Man: Okay, I’m sorry.

Then I slammed the phone down on him. I have enough to deal with without staff members’ fuck buddies calling the head office for matters that aren’t even our concern. Stores seem to fail to realize that we don’t have jurisdiction over the stores. General public seem to fail to realize this aswell.

Such as when a customers been given bad customer service in a store then phones me on the sales line, demanding something be done about it today. Demanding an area manager get in contact today.

Just fuck off and get a fucking life.

You fucking twats.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

15 thoughts on “The Head Office”

  1. lol, How’s that Job goin there Pete, lol

    Hording the Cash I hope, ha

    Hang in there man, you are not working in an Optimum Situation…

    How long do you think you’re going to have to Pull Those Long Shifts?


    1. We were meant to get some new staff in tomorrow, either someone from the warehouse department or draft someone in from one of the stores, but they like to drag their feet.

  2. Hahaha! you sound a tad bit annoyed, there, Pete. You poor thing. you must be dead tired. There’s only so much abuse a person can take. Hopefully things will get better with some more workers? They must be thanking their lucky stars that they hired you!

    1. Well my new manager said he loved me and he’s extremely proud of me so that’s a step in the right direction, things will get better eventually when we do get more staff because I have the added responsibility of controlling our new eBay account which I only have time to do at the weekend lol.

    1. Probably didn’t have the spine to do it herself, the thing is that isn’t the first time it’s happened as on Friday a girls mother called saying she wasn’t happy with her daughters hours being cut in half and threatened to take us to court lol! Wouldn’t give the daughters name in case something happened to her for complaining. Gave us some details which were false so no one was able to contact her back. What does she expect us to do with that information?

      People like this don’t deserve to have jobs with our company in the first place.

    1. He hasn’t been in for me to talk to! He popped in briefly last Wednesday but I was in the midst of my 12 and a half hour shift.

      He said, “Afternoon Peter are you alright?”

      To which I replied with “NO!” and walked past him hah.

  3. Sounds rough. I still can’t believe how much you’re working! Seems so tiring. It’s kind of crazy how you have to tell people how to do things. Like, you should be running that place by now!

    1. I know right? I’ve only been here a month and a half and it seems a lot longer already, now I’m telling managers of stores how to do things and resolve problems. It’s definitely tiring.

      Apparantly it gets mental during the summer… So there’s that to look forward to.

  4. My company has a Head Office. It’s just down the road but so much nicer. Instead of cubicles they have offices. Everyone there has one. Even the lowest scum. They have a deli too. We have a snack machine that eats our money.

    Maybe you’ll read about a deadly tent collapse that killed these complainers. Let’s hope.

    1. I wish I had an office. You know when you’ve got your own office you’ve made it, even if it’s a broom cupboard down the end of the hall, you’ve still made it.

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