Still Alive

The Extended Family

And I’m back! Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in all of his movies.

Back to normality at last, sorry for those who check every day hoping to see something new only to be disappointed. It’s been quite hectic and all over the place at work and then there was the wedding I had to go to in Scotland. But that’s all over now.

It’s been decided at work that we don’t really need to do evenings and weekends at the moment so I’m back to normal working hours, still busy as ever though, maybe even more so.

Finally got my new car on Thursday only to break a bit off the bumper underneath on the curb two days later in Scotland, man was I pissed. I should learn that it’s quite a bit lower than my old Fiesta.

I probably have gained a few speeding fines too coming back from Scotland as I got lost (useless Satnav) and then angry. Then I didn’t slow down for all the speed cameras. We’ll see what comes of that, I might be fine for all I know so I’m not going to worry.

Scotland overall was quite good though actually, Fiona wasn’t looking forward to it though as all the men were having drinks together and all the women were having drinks together and she’s never actually met anyone in my family before so she was just basically walking into a house full of strangers. She got through it though bless her.

She had brought a nine year old inflatable bed for us to sleep on, the worst sleep I have ever had. Woke up at 3am only to find that the bed had in fact deflated, that was a comfortable experience. The second night it did the same so I got in the single bed and left her on the floor. (A gentleman I know.)

The day of the wedding was pretty good, it was nice weather all weekend long which is a rarity for Scotland. Definitely thought I was going to burn the moment I walked in that church though, I’m so anti-religion I’m almost the anti-christ. I got moaned at for not singing stupid hymns, well:

A: I only sing in the shower or in the car.

B: I wasn’t in a shower or a car.

I amused myself while they were saying their vows by pulling stupid faces at the wedding photographer, you wanna take a photo of my face, you take a photo of my photo face! Hopefully I’ll actually get some photo’s of me looking fly in my suit at some point, most of the photos were taken of the immediate family, I’m just a lowly cousin hah.

Then it was time for the meal afterwards and instead of putting me and Fiona on a table with people I know they stuck us with a load of random morbid people that didn’t want to speak, apart from one woman who I think I offended by inadvertently calling her a tart. *shrugs* Never gonna see her again anyway.

The speeches paled in comparison to my best man speech at my best friends wedding although I’ll admit I did tear up a bit when the best man read out a message from my Uncle who was prisoned for falsely being accused of beating his ex-wife. That’s a whole other story that I won’t get into but safe to say he was screwed over by a bunch of stupid Jury members, the judge himself didn’t even think he did it so to hear some words from him was nice and it was a good thing for the best man to do.

Then the party after where I drank everything under the sun, spent a shit load of money and then came home the afternoon after. It’s been an expensive month, probably should have held off buying that car for another month too be honest but screw it. I’m happy and that’s all that matters!

Back to work this morning killed me, it was business as usual and I was overloaded with work yet again. Something amused me after work though when Michelle text me and said that she had an argument with her boyfriend and told me that he thinks me and her were having an affair, half expected her to come home with love bites (hicky for the American’s) on her neck. I text her back and said that love bites aren’t my thing, I’m much more discreet than that.

Probably didn’t help the cause but if he doesn’t trust her that’s his problem, he should grow the fuck up.

Tomorrow will be an emotional day as my old Fiesta is off to be scrapped, not getting much for it really and if I could be bothered to sell it I could probably get a bit more but I just need to get rid of it. Old Leroy has done me well over the years and it won’t be forgotten. As much as first cars go that did me proud.

Farewell Leroy.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

21 thoughts on “Still Alive”

  1. Sounds like a fun-filled weekend. Except for breaking some of your car off, sleeping on the ground, and talking to annoying people. Haha! At least it was a good change of scenery?

    1. It was and it was highly entertaining really, I got to see one of my cousins that I only see at funerals and weddings and then my other cousins little girl threw a handful of stones at some old woman sat on the bench, I turned just at the right time to see her almost jump out of her skin as a stone conked her right in the nose! Her Dad was trying to be angry but it was just too funny! 😀

      My hip still hurts from laying on that floor though, good job I’m not homeless I’d be screwed!

  2. I love this post, Pete. It’s so you. I feel like I was there. I think I’d be lookin’ fly, too. Loving those kilts and the whole Scottish thing. Cool traditions. I Lol’d at the anti-Christ comment! One day something bad will happen to you and you’ll be down on your knees so fast it will make your head spin. And when that days comes I want you to remember I wrote this! hahaha!

    I feel bad about your car taking such abuse, you sleeping on the floor and getting a bad hip and sitting at the morbid table – sort of reminds me of your recent London trip. You might as well have added that you had to walk 4 miles! At least we all know that you’re giving us an honest rundown of events exactly like they happened. You definitely give me some good laughs, Pete.

    1. Haha when I get to the gates of hell, I’ll be taking over, Satan’s got nothing on me.

      If there’s one thing I am it’s honest, sometimes too honest! It seems wherever I go something has to happen, I simply can’t go somewhere, do what I went there to do and come home without incident but I suppose it’s character building and something for me to look back on when I’m in a retirement home! 😀

      1. I think you represent all of us. The reason you’re funny is because of your honesty — we all have the same things happen to us but you’re our mouth piece!
        And if you’re taking over the gates of hell then I’m in luck. I like to know I’ve got a friend there, just in case! haha!

      2. The voice of the voiceless 🙂

        In hell the new schedule will be as follows:

        8am: Wake up.
        9am: Breakfast.
        10am: Light torturing of the evil souls.
        12pm: Lunch.
        1pm: More torturing of evil souls.
        6pm: Dinner.
        7pm: Television hour.
        8pm: Bed time.


  3. I Fricken Hate Air Mattresses, lol… I’d rather sleep on the Floor, ha Love Weddings though, I’m a bit surprised Your Girlfriend hasn’t met any of your Family? Or did yah just mean the Distant ones.

    Good to see ya Posten, Yer goina need to start worken on yer “Create A World Submission” come April, lol Good Luck with it


    1. I meant any of them, down here I only have my cousin, her husband and two little girls and I rarely see them and then I have my parents which I don’t like introducing to anyone at the best of times anyway haha.

      I was gonna use something I’ve already written but that’d be unoriginal n gay so I’ve come up with a story to write about 🙂

      1. I’m still Trying to Figure that out, as if we have a lot, they will take up a Lot of Space… I could almost Post Them as they come in if it’s alright with the Writers… They’d probably like that


    1. Haha it’s from an English sitcom called My Family where this guy buys an old school car and insists on calling it Leroy. Tried to find a clip but sadly failed 😦 but you pronounce it LE ROOOIIIIIIIII

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