Trading Standards

If there’s one phrase that pisses me off more than anything it’s “I’ll go to Trading Standards.”

Working in customer service you hear that alot, especially in the retail trade. When I worked for Dixons doing customer service for Currys and PC World I would that all that time, at least three times a day.

Usually it’s probably because the company had screwed the customer over and they had every right to complain because Dixons is a piss poor company both to work for and to buy from.

For those who don’t know Trading Standards are departments in local authorities like county councils and whatnot that investigate problems people are having from companies, like say, if someone is in their rights to have a refund and provides a receipt and we then say no, the customer can call Trading Standards and they can either advise us to do the right thing or enforce legal action.

I have no problem with Trading Standards, I think they’re a good thing and they’re there to help people but what I hate about Trading Standards is that any idiot can use them as a threat to try and get their own way.

“Do this for me or I’ll go to Trading Standards” and that sort of bollocks. Like today for example, recently the works been piling up and up due to us having problems with one of our main suppliers and because the owners don’t think to change the way we’re operating (by selling stock that we actually have rather than stock we can get) it’s forcing more pressure on us. Over worked and under staffed.

So the last thing I have time for is answering e-mails from some stupid bitch that bought a pair of Wellington boots at Christmas, split them and is now wanting to know where to return them to. As the store she bought them from is now closed she e-mailed in asking where to take them back, she also stated in the e-mail that she no longer has the receipt.

Unfortunately if you don’t have the receipt then you’re fucking screwed and you may aswell have not bothered e-mailing us in the first place. If I’ve broken something I’ve recently bought but no longer have the receipt then I wouldn’t even dream of going back to the company I bought it from because I know how companies work.

I said to her that our refund policy states that refunds can only be given 14 days after original purchase and exchanges for up to a year, but without providing proof of purchase there would be no chance of her even exchanging the boots. She then e-mailed back saying how I hadn’t answered her question and then stating all this pointless Sales of Goods Act 1979 that obviously didn’t apply to what we were talking about and if I didn’t tell her within 7 working days where she can return the boots to she’ll be reporting ME to Trading Standards.

I have other shit to do, dealing with customers that actually did bother to keep their receipts, so I told her that I didn’t tell her where she could return them to because she can’t return them if she doesn’t have the receipt. I said it doesn’t matter what the Sales of Goods Act of 1979 says or what our returns policy is, if proof of purchase is not presented then nothing will be done and Trading Standards will agree with me on that.

I also (which I shouldn’t have done really…) told her how I didn’t appreciate her attitude when she was the one clearly at fault and that she should get her facts straight before threatening companies with Trading Standards because if she continues then I shall be reporting her to the police for harassment. HOW U LYK DEM APPELS BIZZETCH!?

Safe to say it was a real bad day today and I was actually one moment away to just telling her to fuck off. But I managed to restrain myself at the knowledge that she’ll be getting even more worked up over the e-mail I did send her back.

Enjoy your split Wellington’s you fat legged bitch.

*crotch thrust*


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

10 thoughts on “Trading Standards”

  1. I have never heard of this term before. It seems like how everyone sues each other. You can sue someone for suing you. It’s a back and forth never-ending bullshit battle.

    I thought you Brits settle differences with fists and armbars?

    1. Not all of us are as ‘Ard as me, I settle with fists and armbars and the occasional hurricanrana but most of them are too scared and hide behind a telephone.

  2. Where did my brilliant comment go? Ugh! I’ll write it again, because I like you.

    I think in the states our equivalent would be the “Better Business Bureau.”
    But more often people post reviews online when they want to hurt a company’s reputation. Revenge is just a click away! haha! People over here also sue businesses at the drop of a hat.

    Lol! Crotch thrust! That’s a nice addition to your post.

    Sorry you had a crap day, Pete.

    1. I’m glad! 🙂

      Today we had a delay from our supplier and a customer said our company was disgusting and they were going to tell all of their friends to cancel their orders. It’s people like that that I don’t want shopping at my place in the first place. It’s not our fault, it was circumstances out of our control.

      I was out of ear shot of everyone else so I told this woman to go ahead and then I will start legal proceedings for slander as all calls are recorded for training and quality purposes (they’re not) and she soon calmed her tone.

      This is why I wanted to get out of customer service in the first place!

  3. Customers must be a pain in the arse at times. The only time i complained was to Asda, i bought a new kettle but did not keep the box. So i took the kettle down with the receipt, sorry no box no replacement.

    Now what i do is,everything we buy in Asda after 6 to 9 months i take it back get a new one, give them the bother.

    Should they take me to trading standards 🙂

    1. Hah, they probably thought you bought a new kettle then just grabbed any old kettle you had lying around and try and replace that one so you’d have two new kettles. If I haven’t got packaging or receipts I wouldn’t bother 😛

  4. It’s so crazy to me when people try to return things that are obviously not returnable. Maybe I’m too lazy to inquire, but I feel like businesses have more important things to deal with.

    1. Too true, I have actual orders to chase and trying to sort shit out with suppliers but hold that, here’s Mrs Johnson with a pair of wellingtons the fat bitch has split and has eaten her receipt =/

  5. hahah I have actually heard people say that during my telemarketing stint. Definitely annoying!

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