Job Agencies My Hairy Piece.

For those that have followed me for awhile, you’ll know my hatred for all things job agencies. If there’s only one thing worse than signing on for jobseekers allowance, it’s signing up to an agency.

Granted not all of them are bad, one of them had actually treated me quite well over the years I was in need of work but then there’s others that just don’t give a shit about you. It’s blatent that they don’t give a shit about you as well.

One agency I actually registered with five times. My sister in laws friend told me how hard of a job it is as she too used to work in recruitment. It wasn’t until recently when I found one of her business cards in my a box somewhere in my room meaning that I had dealt with her before and she too was one of the bitches that never even bothered to give me a call.

Then there’s this one guy where he tells my friends about job opportunities going so when I apply he asks me to send him a CV despite the fact I’d sent him one a month prior after he hadn’t phoned me back regarding an interview I had with a bank because I hadn’t passed so obviously didn’t have the courtesy to let me know.

Send him my CV and then never gets back to me again. Then he has the absolute nerve to send me this e-mail:


I hope you are well and had a good bank holiday weekend.

I am currently looking for a number of good salespeople for permanent roles based in Sheffield City Centre.

Do you know of anyone who may be interested in these roles?

If you do, email me their contact details, I will call them and for any referral who is successful in gaining employment I will give you £30 in vouchers. Therefore if you recommend 5 successful people you would earn £150!

Any questions, give me a call.


Joe Heller

Yeah I’ve got a question you ginger bald headed cunt. How about offering me a fucking job? How shit must this job be if they’re bribing people to give them peoples contact details. Obviously they’ve pissed off that many people no one wants to go with his agency anymore. I don’t blame them. Even if I did give him someones details and they were successful I highly doubt I’d ever even see a £1 gift voucher.

No thanks to you I am a manager of a large outdoor leisure company and I did that with my own hard work and my own initiative. You don’t deserve to even hold my e-mail address let alone use it to try and bribe me to let you screw over my friends.

Take your job opportunities and shove them up your ass.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

13 thoughts on “Job Agencies My Hairy Piece.”

    1. I’ve e-mailed him back this morning and said “Mate, I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire let alone give you any details of people I know.”

  1. Who would really give out their friend’s details anyway?
    Now if you have a list of people you hate… that’s a different story! haha!
    I like that you’ve attached a demonstration of the perfect crotch thrust for all of us to be amused by. : )

    1. Haha excellent idea!! There’s a whole bunch of people I’d love to get a random call “Your friend Peter said you were looking for work”. The looks on their faces would be epic and it’d be a massive waste of his time!

  2. Ginger Bald Headed Cunt needs to be an adjective. Those four words told me everything about that man that I would ever need to know.

    Paul Levesque says it best.

  3. It’s really weird! Don’t job agencies take a cut out of your pay? Why wouldn’t they help then.

    I have had terrible experiences with job agencies as well. They suck, well most of them at least.

    I think I told you before that one of them asked me to pay up $300. I was stunned and just walked out of that place.

    1. LOL! I do remember, I bet they don’t get many clients, I still can’t wrap my head around the stupidy of that.

      “You have no job, so you have no money…. so if you give us $300 dollars then we’ll maybe find you a job.”

      They did take a cut out of my pay and then we’re left with basic rate, I’ve only ever received one permanent job from a job agency the rest of them have been duds. The other permanent ones I got direct with companies that I sought out and applied for myself. At the end of the day, it’s that bald wankers loss.

      1. LOL

        Yes! and there was a commotion at that place the day I visited. Basically a guy was shouting and ranting about how the agency used him just to get his money and never helped him find a job. The guy only left when the agent threatened to call the police.

        They took my cover letter and started giving it out as sample. I know cause an acquaintance went there for a free seminar -.-

        Those people are really retarded. I am so glad I didn’t sign up.

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