Always In Three’s

They say bad things always happens in three’s, I don’t know who these people are but they seem to be correct. In a week I had lost my woman, my job and now my new place that I was meant to move in to.

My friend who I was meant to move in with, looking out for my best interests told me that he doesn’t want me to move in because I’m not in a stable working environment, if I fail the credit check then we could end up paying far more than originally agreed and that instantly would have put me in debt, with having no job it’s not a smart thing to do.

I don’t blame him, because if I don’t get another job sharpish then he’s screwed also and it wouldn’t be fair on him. I accepted this and told him to find someone else to move in with. It’s just a damn shame, we were destined to live together, I thought once he had split up with his girlfriend that would come to fruition. It’s like I have all this pressure on my brain at the moment and I’m finding it hard to think clearly.

This year started out with so much promise and five months in, my whole life fell apart in a single week. Then I go into work today, working a weeks notice, usually I’d have told them to shove it but it gives me a chance to get paid for doing very little. Some bitch in the buying department who I absolutely hate, spends her day swanning around from her office into our office chatting up my manager then always manages to piss me off, “Why are you in a bad mood, if you have a bad attitude then bad things will happen.”

I told her to shut the fuck up and fuck off, if anyone deserves to be fired it’s her, I said to her that she doesn’t want to know the real me, and the real me doesn’t want to associate with some stuck up bitch like her.

No mercy obvs. I’m not in the business of hitting women, but she really could do with a smack in the mouth.

My manager gave me a hug today because he knows what I’m going through, he’s stuck up for me every step of the way and the fact that higher management just decided to get rid of me without even consulting him made him feel sick to the stomach, when I first met him I didn’t particularly like him, but we grew to become friends over the stresses of the job.

Just to clarify, my manager, the sales manager isn’t the one that screwed me over, he was the one trying to keep me there. Today was pretty easy as I basically didn’t care about answering phones, the receptionist was off “sick” so I was expected to answer the reception phone, I didn’t.

The one time I did, it was a journalist asking me questions about the company, which I happily answered, usually I tell them to do one but on this occasion I thought “why not?” the journalist said, “What’s your position in the company? You seem to know quite a bit.”

I replied, “Customer Service Manager… until the end of this week that is.”

“Oh right… did you lose your job too?”

“Yeah, they screwed me over.” I said.

He said he was sorry to hear that and I said, “It’s okay, they constantly break data protection anyway so it’s not a company I want to work for.”

Hopefully that quote will pop up in the news somewhere! Then any customers that phoned up and complained I refunded them 10% on their order. Believe me, I refunded a lot of money today, which I was very happy to do, tomorrow, I may refund 20% on orders that are overdue!

Local companies wanting to place big orders I have either ignored or sent them elsewhere, my plan is to cost them as much money as possible.

This morning in our usual Monday meeting they were all laughing and joking about how much money they made, I was asked, “Have you got any big sales lined up this week?” by the owner.

I replied, “I did have yeah.”

“What do you mean by did have?”

“Well I had around £15,000 worth of sales from various companies, but, unfortunately; you fired me on Friday so those sales are being directed to Go Outdoors, you twat.” And I walked out of the meeting and went back to my desk.

The Ops Director (The guy that fired me) didn’t say a word to me today, even when I was sat there insulting the company while people are on the phone, he didn’t say anything. Just a spineless, gutless yes man. Everyone pretty much agreed that he should be the one that should be fired not me. And it’s obvious the companies going to go in liquidation by the time the year is out, everyone but Roger the Director can see it and when the company does go under, he’ll more than likely kill himself.

I remember I was asked to stop talking in a gangsta accent to other people in the building because it’s not professional, not to answer the phone to stores by saying simply “Head Office” and various other things, I stopped all that shit and it got me no where, so I started doing it again. Went out for a cigarette whenever I wanted, ignored the phone, he never even batted an eyelash! Just sat there quietly letting it happen. I’m setting my alarm for 8:30am (the time I start work) tomorrow morning to ensure I’m late.

The remainder of this week will be spent continually making life hell for the company and doing as much damage to them as possible, after all, what are they going to do? Fire me?

Bitch please.

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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

17 thoughts on “Always In Three’s”

    1. This is just stage one, I actually lost sleep last night scheming and plotting. They’re useless, they haven’t even fixed the fire door I booted off its hinges on Friday!

  1. Revenge is a dish best served NOW 😀 This was so awesome, I laughed all the way through it. I know how much everything sucks, but I suppose at least you get to have a bit of fun with it… I’ve just had a ‘Shit comes in threes’ experience too. There’s some freaky shit going on here.

    Oh, and I love your new blog header 🙂 I hope you’re good x

    1. Thank you 🙂 I’m not too bad, still have depressed moments but it’ll all pass eventually so I’ll just keep on riding the storm. More hilarity continued today, probably the best week at work I’ve had in awhile!

  2. Hahah omg I love that a journalist just happened to call and that was the only call that you answered. So awesome! Way to go Pete!

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