Greatest Hits… #5

…So far.

If you’ve taken notice to your right on my Widgets area you’ll notice that today is my birthday, meaning that you can tell your boss to piss off and before he can say anything all you need to say is, “It’s ‘Ard Pete’s birthday” and he’ll back the fuck down or I’ll knock him out.

Unless your boss is a female, then I’ll just seduce her with my manly ways and while she’ll not feel the pain straight away, she will be sore in the morning…

Anyway enough perversity let’s get back on track. Needless to say that many of my blog posts are usually negative in nature due to my hatred of my own life or jealousy of others but as it’s my birthday I thought I’d write something positive for once.

If you’ve ever watched Lost (and if you haven’t, well, you don’t deserve eyes) you’ll remember when Charlie tragically died at the end of Season 3, but not before he listed his top five “greatest hits” or in other words, the top 5 greatest moments he experienced in his life. Once he had written out that list he died soon after, now as you can see I’m not dead; but I am closer to 30 than I am 20 so I may as well be.

I thought I’d borrow that idea and tell you all what I’d consider the top 5 greatest moments of my life so far, no lies, no exaggerations, just me and my life.

Since the size of this post has become huge and the fact that you probably won’t want to read a massive long post all at once I’ve decided to split it up into separate posts, which should hopefully hold your interest over the course of today, leading into tomorrow.

#5: My 21st Birthday

I don’t know why people consider the 21st birthday to be the big one in England, sure in America it’s when people are legally allowed to drink but we’re legal to drink from the age of 18, sure the 18th birthday is the big one but not as big as the 21st, why is that? Maybe it’s because you’re out of your teens? But then again, surely the 20th birthday should be big.

Anyway I don’t make the rules I just go along with it. My 21st birthday was my most memorable birthday ever, it consisted of a three day celebration, the Friday was spent drinking with my work friends after we’d finished work, I had all of my drinks bought for me, they took it in turns; made sure I was extremely hammered, I made out with some 40 year old woman inside a night club who I thought was a MILF, until I looked back at the photo’s a few weeks later and realized it was the alcohol changing my perception. Still I had fun at the time so that’s all that counts right?

Then the Saturday I went out with all of my out of work friends, back in the day my circle of friends used to be huge, at least 20 of us would be out every weekend but over the years friendships end, or you grow apart, or grow up and move on and away; it’s very rare I even go out drinking these days and when I do it’s only with a few people that I know, so this night was brilliant because EVERYONE was out, they were all out for me and while I didn’t kiss any 40 year olds it was one of the best nights out of my life.

And finishing off the weekend on Sunday I went out for a meal with my family, I don’t often spend a lot of time with family, only special occasions and whatnot, I know some people are big on family and they’re really close knit, I on the other hand consider my friends closer  family than my actual blood relations. Still, it was an awesome meal, I stuck a balloon valve up my nose and gave myself a nosebleed, then my dad gave me the head shake of disappointment. It was great! 😀

Every birthday since that moment has paled in comparison but as I said, that was the big one, the last milestone birthday until you hit 30, which I’m scheduled to do in exactly three years time!


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

35 thoughts on “Greatest Hits… #5”

    1. Thank you Carrie 🙂 That’s what I hope every year, we’ll see what happens, maybe one day I’ll get to rename the blog to Evolution of Happiness.

            1. And yet still so young! Life hadn’t yet had its chance to smack me down when I was your age, I was too busy partaking in underage drinking. Perhaps you should look into it?!

              1. I don’t drink at all. I get loopy when I take half of a muscle relaxant. Besides, I’d probably burst out into off-key drinking songs in horrible Italian.

                As for being cynical, five years of sexual harassment, social isolation and threats of physical violence will do that to you.

                1. I suppose that would do it, I’ve never been sexually harassed, I don’t know why, but I can relate with the other two.

                  Drunken singing is never a bad thing. Until the next morning at least. 🙂

  1. Reblogged this on The Dark Globe and commented:

    I don’t often reblog my posts to Dark Globe, but today is my birthday and I’m nearing 30 so shut up! 😛

    Here is the first of 5 posts that’ll be getting posted throughout the day, usually at six hour intervals, so be sure to keep checking my blog throughout today and tomorrow to see my 5 greatest moments of all time.

    You know you want to. I can feel it in my waters. xxx ❤ xxx

  2. I have to sing in spanish just for a change… “estas son las mañanitas, que cantaba el Rey David…” try to imagine that with mariachi and tequila everywhere! Happy birthday, Pete!

  3. Happy Birthday! I can tell you from way too much experience with birthdays (54 of them, in fact) that they get more precious as the years go by. 😉

      1. A “Death Test?” Now that’s one test I’ve never heard of. On a brighter note, I just took a “What’s your real age Sex Test.” Don’t worry. It was a multiple choice test and I answered all the questions honestly. I’m 54 but my “Real Sex Age” is 37! Shizzle! 😉

        1. Too be fair, the death test said I had a 7% chance of alien abduction so I don’t know how accurate it was ever going to be.

          Where did you do this test? I’ll be interested to see what mine is, probably in the 60s hah!

                  1. Oh. My bad. Well, kinda your bad, too. Since I;m almost 55 and my score was 37, I just assumed you were older, too. Oops. But, hey, look on the bright side: your young and you have your whole life ahead of you. I’m on the downhill side of things. Good bits of news like this aren’t going to come my way very often. Does that help?

  4. My 18th and my 21st were probably two of my lamer birthdays. 18th was spent at Red Lobster with my family. 21st I think we went to a diner but by now my sister was dating a black guy so he came. I didn’t want to seem racist and say he couldn’t come. 22nd was the lamest. I didn’t even leave the house. What a depressive troll I am.

    I like your mention of the 40 year old MILF. I totally met the hottest Brazilian chick one time in New York City. Her and her 2 friends adored me. I got her email address and eventually found her on Facebook. I must have drank a lot more than I had thought. Wow was she nothing to brag about.

    Make sure to disappoint your dad again this year with some crazy stunt. Put it on video this time though.

    1. Haha the best thing about that MILF is she had a son my age that was going out with a girl I worked with. So the whole “I did your boyfriends mother” was a bit awkward at work the next Monday.

      My worst birthday was in 2010, my 25th, I had that outbound sales job and spent the entire day getting abused down the telephone by people I was trying to sell gas and electric to, I was also new there so I didn’t know anyone, so I spoke to no one. Finished at 8pm, in bed for 9.

      1. Sheesh that sounds terrible. Avoid work at all costs on a birthday. Someday you’ll be so old and frail you won’t have the option. That’s my take.

  5. I’m late! I’m late! For your very important date!! (Sorry Lewis Carroll!) Happy Birthday, my friend!!

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