If you’ve been watching the news today, it’s being globally reported that today is in fact Tim Boyle Day Of Excellence. If you aren’t sleeping with his mother then you’ll probably just know him from his blog Mooselicker, where he talks about anything and everything while at the same time being extremely funny.
Don’t be fooled by his modesty, if anyone knows how funny he is, it’s himself. Like Lily, he has reached his 25th year. Something people in the 13th century could only dream about; I’ve known him for almost a year and in that time he has entertained me thoroughly, much like a monkey wearing a fez, he never stops being funny.
The guy is a writing machine, even someone as great as yours truly would surely be burnt out if I had written as much as he had and while he’s entertaining you all for free, he even had to time write an actual novel titled, “Satan: Little League Superstar” (for the low price of $2.99, which is less than it would cost to buy a McDonald’s meal, you fat bastards) which I am currently in the process of reading, from the opening moments of the book you can just tell it’s Tim’s writing.
He’s not just a writer as I’ve been told that he has big projects in the works for the future, projects that will mostly likely make people go, “Oh it’s that dude from… that thing.” something the rest of us peons could only imagine.
At 25 years old, he only has to make it another three years to beat out people like Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison. I fully believe he’ll make it past the 27 club (though I’m 27, I fully expect to be added to this list by next August).
As I mentioned before, it’s usually all down hill after 25, but that only applies to women, things begin to sag, droop, wrinkle etc, men on the other hand is the complete opposite. Tim now can look forward to looking more defined with age, the only thing that begins to sag on us men is our balls and hey, who doesn’t enjoy a swinging ball sack right? It’s like watching a Newton’s Cradle.
Sure his hair will go grey, but rather than ending up looking like some old crazy cat lady, he’ll look more like Ted Danson and I think we can all agree on Danson’s awesomeness. But no need to look forward to that yet, you’re still mid-twenties, by the time you reach 40 you’ll more than likely be a huge star and I’ll be right by your side, riding your coat tails. (Providing I’m not dead.)
Happy Tim Boyle Day of Excellence! Slap a ho for me bro.