Things That Piss Me Off

I’ve noticed that my posts as of late have been somewhat cheerful, either talking about music or celebrating world renowned Days of Excellence that I haven’t really bitched about something.

Today while I was sat at work listening to people drone on about stuff I have no clue about, I was thinking about things that really piss me off. I’d stop every two minutes or so, take my phone off of mute and give an understanding “Mmmmm” to whoever was talking at me, then bang some keys on my keyboard to make it seem like I’m doing something.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m in a pretty good place in my life at the moment, I’m in a job where I don’t dislike anyone, the people that are sat in my immediate vicinity are all awesome, the girl that sits next to me takes the time to help me whenever I need it and won’t rest until I’m sorted, I’m grateful for people like her because I’ve been in jobs where people aren’t bothered about helping anyone but themselves.

I’m picking things up slowly but surely and time doesn’t really seem to drag all that much.

With having a job, I now have money rolling in every week that’ll eventually pay off my debts and I’m currently single meaning I don’t have any obligations to fill.

But with that there are still daily occurances of things that really make me want to punch something sometimes.


It seems like recently I’ve been getting stuck more and more behind really slow drivers and these slow drivers always turn out to be old people. You may have fought in a war or whatevs and I respect that, but that doesn’t mean during rush hour you get to drive at 20mph in a 40 creating a long queue of traffic. Yesterday for example some old fucker curb crawling going up this hill, I wouldn’t mind if he had some old shitty Corsa and that’s the quickest he could go but he was in a big powerful 7 seater and because of that I couldn’t see round him to overtake.

I thought revving my engine (because I’m a prick like that) at him would work but no, nor did flashing my lights and even when I resorted to beeping my horn which I don’t like doing but he really was taking the piss, he didn’t even acknowledge me! Probably because he was fucking deaf or something. I eventually did overtake him and I could swear he was asleep. Keep off the road you old twat and get a pensioner bus pass already. Us people that still have a life have places to be.


The signs were there.

If you’ve read my blog for awhile you’ll know that for a year and a half I was going out with some girl called Fiona, who I thought was possibly the one I would settle down with. But because work back then was really getting in the way and when I wasn’t at work she was at work we hardly saw each other.

Rather than talk about this, because you know, that’s what people do in relationships, she just randomly one day decided to end it. Not by speaking in person or at the very least; over the phone but by text message. One simple text message that said, verbatim: “dont know how your gona feel about this but im gona be honest i dont think we should be in a relationship anymore, doesnt seem were in a relationship anymore anyway”.

A year and a half, all gone in 31 words. She thought this was an acceptable way to rip someone’s heart out of their chest. All of my friends know this, so why do my friends find it acceptable to tell me when they last saw Fiona, “Oh I saw Fiona in Tesco today mate.” Well of course you fucking did, you work there. Or my close friends telling me how they had dinner together recently, or they’d gone out for drinks, what her families up to, where she’s living now, I really don’t give a fuck. Someone actually told me how upset she was over the break up a few months ago, SHE’S THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH ME! She doesn’t get to be upfuckingset. She knew how much stress I was under, how much of a hard time I was having with work and other things and she chose to bail. All they’re doing is reminding me that the bitch is still alive. While that may be the case, she’s dead to me and if she got hit by a bus tomorrow, I wouldn’t give a shit. (No, I really wouldn’t.)

I also hate it when some of them say, “Have you seen anything of/heard from Fiona at all?” Why the fuck would I? How many other ways can I possibly say “No, and I never want to again.” without you asking me again and again and again every time you speak to me?! PISS. OFF.


Sounds controversial, but I’m not being racist or xenophobic or anything. But while working at this new job of mine, I find that every now and then I’ll get someone on the phone that can barely speak two words of English or understand anything I’m telling them. I don’t mind if you’re from another country and you’re here to work. I don’t even care if you don’t speak English, but if you’re phoning an English help desk, at least have the decency to understand and be able to reply in the language of the country that’s currently being spoken to you. A five minute call turned into a 40 minuter, I came so close to just hanging up and the only reason I didn’t is because I know I’d be unlucky enough to get him again and I’d have to start over.

I swear, it took me fifty attempts to ask someone to hold down two numbered buttons on a device that wasn’t working. “Hold down four and five… No! Four and five… HOLD DOWN FOUR AND FIVE……. FOUR AND FIVE!!!!!!


Also I’m finding that there are a lot of people I speak to that don’t have a clue how to use a computer. Working on a help desk, the things I help out with are vast and varied, but when I’m getting calls from people going, “I don’t know how to do a screen shot.”

“Press the print screen button.”

“I’m pressing that but nothings happening.”

“Well obvs, you need to then paste it into a word document or an e-mail or something.”

“How do I do that?”

Your job is to work on a computer and you don’t understand how to do basic tasks? Same with people yelling at me that their laptops turned it self off like somehow it’s me that’s just slammed it with a hammer, and then they get offended when you ask “Is the charger plugged into the wall?”

“I beg your pardon, what kind of question is… Oh wait, sorry it was unplugged! Who unplugged it?!”

I have many talents, but I can’t astral project myself to another place and find out that piece of information, that’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself. Oh and you’re welcome.


I don’t know how many of you follow me on Twitter, and if you’re not, then you better get that sorted now. But I recently mentioned that I broke my tooth at the weekend, I actually did it in primary (little) school when I was about 11 or something when I tripped and fell on a railing mouth first and chipped the corner of it, I’d had it capped a few times but they always seemed to fall off so a few years ago I had a crown on it, which is basically a new tooth constructed around my broken tooth.

This weekend I was chewing on a straw just like I have done many times over the years and for some reason it decided to break leaving my old tooth exposed; so all the times I’ve been to the dentist just for me to pay them for looking in my mouth once every six months just for them to say “yeah your teeth are fine” when I actually need to see them I get, “Sorry there aren’t any appointments for after 5pm until after Christmas, the only appointments we’ve got in the day are at around midday.” I’m not taking a full day off work to go and get my tooth fixed. So you’ve lost yourself a customer. You stupid French cow.

What pisses me off more is that I now have to go to a private dentist which is heaps more expensive, I’d wait until after Christmas but the broken tooth is catching on my top lip making things very uncomfortable.

Anyway, that’s all for this round of things that piss me off. I hope you’re all now as angry as I am.

Thank God I have you people to keep me sane.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

11 thoughts on “Things That Piss Me Off”

  1. Great. Now I’m angry. All of those things make me mad. I especially hate when people are insensitive and keep bring up your ex-girlfriend when they know that you’ve moved on. that’s crappy. I hate dentist issues. I have a few crowns, I guess that means I’m royalty? Haha? Old people driving are ridiculous. It’s one thing if you’re cool like my grandmother used to be, she was fast because she used to race Porsches. She knew what she was doing, even when she was 85 years old. But I realize not every old person is as great as my granny was. The rest of them need to retire. They shouldn’t even drive a bicycle. Haha!

    1. Maybe they find it as a talking point when they ask but they won’t expect me to ask if they’ve seen anything of one of the bitches they went out with. I don’t go “hey hows your ex-fiance”, maybe I should!

      Your gran does sound pretty great, my gran kept starting the car off in reverse and hitting things before they took her licence away, now she’s in the loony bin haha.

  2. You received a text from a girlfriend. I received a phone call after twelve years of marriage. Chickens!!! Nothing peeves me off more than people calling my office, and I can’t understand them. There is one particular company that I cringe when they have someone call. Actually, while I was just heating up my lunch today that very company called and left a voicemail. Lovely!

    1. Wow, well at it least it wasn’t a text message after 12 years of marriage, that’d have been the ultimate blow! I bet it felt like the last 12 years was all for nothing when it ends that way. Screw em, screw em all!

      Don’t phone them back, just say you couldnt understand the voicemail haha. I get at least four phonecalls a day where I’m constantly repeating myself because I can’t understand a word I’m saying, these people shouldnt be allowed the use of a phone.

      1. It was definitely the hardest night of my life. Home alone with two kids, and he calls while on a business trip in another state. I had no family and not too many friends living on the farm. He was my “person”, so the fact that he did that rocked my world. I cried all night on the bathroom floor, and the next day got up went to work and then looked for an apartment and have moved forward. We got along extremely well married and still do. It was very out of character for him to do that in the first place, but I suppose he was only doing what he couldn’t do in person. We have now been divorced for two years, and I will run into someone that doesn’t even realize that we are divorced because we still do things together for the kids. When they experience the shock I remember the pain of that cold night.

  3. Is it weird that I talk to my ex-girlfriend everyday and we make fun of her current boyfriend together? I can’t wait until they break up and I can dedicate a post to him.

    How do you feel about the band Foreigner? I’m not a fan. They’re still not as bad as actual foreigners. At least if I ever went to Japan I’d know what an ass I’d look like.

    1. It depends what the circumstances were when you two broke up, any girl I’ve gone out with I have nothing to do with after we’ve split up, the moment “it’s over” has been said, it’s like aliens have swooped down and abducted them.

      I haven’t heard of the band Foreigner but they’re not calling me up on a daily basis so I have no problem with them.

  4. LOL!! Now you’ve got ME wanting to punch something. I think there ought to be a site somewhere for cyber-punching. Where we could click on a giant closed fist and have it slam into a wall? Well…I suppose there could be options for who/what people might want to have the fist slam into. And how hard. Maybe people could sign up to join for free — no (or limited) options, just unlimited fist-slamming — but for a fee things could be customized. The fist could be made female, different colors, with and without brass knuckles, etc. And the “slam-ee” could have a face uploaded to it. Wow. There’s a web concept a lot of people could get behind…

    Terrific post.
    I’m following you now, arrived here via Mooselicker’s site.

    1. Haha I think you’ve come up with a multi-million dollar idea there; but when you upload someones face, when you cyber punch him a real fist appears out of nowhere and hits the real person. Like a cyber voodoo doll!

      Glad to see Mooselicker’s finally been useful for something 😛 I shall come check you out (not sexually, we just met.)

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