“Mate… You Punched A Turtle?”

Judging by the title, you’ll be reading this now thinking I have some epic tale to tell about the time I punched a turtle right in the face.

Unfortunately there was no such epic time, I did this to draw you in and tell you about some random shit going off in my blogging world. Nothing goes with random shit like a random title. But if you like you can sit there, close your eyes, put on some Barry Manilow and fantasize that I actually did punch a turtle in the face.

Basically, I recently passed 50,000 views (almost 51,000) which I’m pretty sure makes me King Of The Athiests, I remember what seemed like so long ago now bragging about how I’d passed 1,000 views on the WordPress forums so to get an additional 50,000 isn’t too shabby in my estimation.

Not just that but I also just hit 200 followers. I doubt 200 people actually read this blog, but 200 people clicked the follow button and that makes me feel like some sort of cult leader.

So thanks to everyone that’s taken time out of their busy schedule to give my silly little rubbish a glance and if you ever feel sad about something I’ve now added links that show up under the About page that’ll surely cheer you up immensely. Possibly diverting you away from suicide, I’m like Ghandi or something.

As you know I recently started up The Excellence Asylum which is off to a slow start, thanks to the social forums disappearing from WordPress it’s hard to get your name out there, one of the biggest reasons people didn’t want them to go. In any case, I’m still looking for contributors, even if it’s once a week, once a week, hell, even just once. The more people that get involved, the more of a community we can create.

If I was a rich man, I’d pay you to post but I’m poor so you’ll just have to make do with an eHug, but just think, an eHug from Pierre?! How f’n sweet is that?

Let me know if you’re interested unless you can’t spell or construct a viable sentence; then in that case I’d refer you to somewhere else. (Like hell.)

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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

20 thoughts on ““Mate… You Punched A Turtle?””

  1. Congratulations on getting all that love. It was just a matter of time before people discovered your greatness. You have a real way with words. 🙂 This is a lovely invitation to write for the Excellence Asylum. Very tempting. I’ll think about it even though I’m not as brilliant as you. I’ll get back to you.
    Have a great day, Pete!
    Lisa

    1. Hah, not as brilliant, if anything you’re more brilliant than I 😀 If you ever want to write for the Asylum just give us a shout it’d be really great to have you 🙂

  2. I love random…..you have an excellent blog. The Excellence Asylum looks just as awesome, I look forward to checking it out!

  3. Pete, congrats on the stats. I’m a bit busy with all the book stuff, but I may just be knocking on your door once my book is edited and launched. So much to do and so much learn, ya know? 😉

  4. Well, I’m still trying to get a handle on what exactly you envision. I’m not typically community-minded, so although I used to look at Dark Globe, I did not have a feel for what it was, and can’t figure out what we (you guys) lost.

    That said, I suppose I could occasionally contribute something or other. Pictures, writings, reviews (Armageddon? really? . . . OK, I suppose tastes vary. Most people don’t agree with me on Joe Versus the Volcano), opinions, rants, etc. . . . any or all of those is what I already do, and could copy here.

    . . . but I still can’t figure out what exactly you would want, what kind of flavor you want the place to have. And there’s not enough to get it from the existing posts.

    Just wondering.

    1. I like Armageddon 😛 Sure Ben Affleck ruins it with his face and it’s all about the supporting actors hah!

      I guess I just envision a place where people have a chance to read a wide variety of content by bloggers they may never heard of and therefore creating more readership for all those involved. I want the feel to be the same as Dark Globe where anything is welcome, from the serious to the humourous. It’s all good to me.

  5. Congrats! Try linking your blog to your Facebook and you’ll look even more popular. I noticed my subscribers went down a lot once WordPress changed everything about it. It’s so hard to navigate now but I also really don’t care. Rarely would a random person find me or vice versa anyway and it would be a good thing. Too many other things going on to care about WordPress stats. I’d rather just put on a good show every once in a while.

    1. Haha I’d do that but I don’t want real world idiots reading this shit otherwise I’d have to watch what I say for fear of grief (I say fear, more inconvenience). Unless it’s someone that I used to work with that finds my blog, which they tend to do after searching their company name and then see my blog ripping them to bits in the search results.

    1. As if I would haha, who even punches a turtle anyway? Unless it’s a Ninja Turtle and they’re hogging all the pizza, then they’re asking for it. The bastards.

  6. Whoo! Great job Pete! You deserve every follower and view. You’re a great storyteller. When I think of Pete Howorth, I think Gandhi. Definitely. Looking forward to many more posts! x

  7. Looking forward to seeing who you lure in to write for you, as your followers are a diverse lot, aren’t they?

    Well done, sir!!

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