Seriously how are there not more serial killers in the world? With all the cop procedural television shows it surely must be easy to kill a lot of people and get away with it? Or maybe they are and they are getting away with it?
The more I watch Dexter the more I want to go and buy some black leather gloves, you know when he’s wearing them shits about to go down. Black leather gloves and that long sleeved t-shirt; his uniform of death as it were.
What I like most about Dexter is that he only kills bad people and it’s good to see these big notorious serial killers the show introduces who think they’re invincible only for them all to eventually fall to the great Dexter. I think to myself, I could do what he does. Rapists and paedophiles, sneak up to them in the dead of night with a syringe of knock out juice then chop them up.
The only reason I don’t is probs because I don’t live near the ocean and have a boat to use to sink their bodies. Man I wish I had a boat. Nor could I afford all the plastic it’d take to buy to wrap up the bodies. So sorry peeps you’ll have to rely on the law for now promise I’ll start chopping people up when I become a millionaire though!
I had a pair of leather gloves once but one of those fecking cats that roam around my house pissed on them once and once a cat pisses on something you know the smells never going away. Going into work on a winters morning, taking my gloves off and someone asking “Why does it suddenly smell of cat piss?”
“I don’t know.” I’d reply, slyly sniffing my fingers. I think this is where my obsession of sniffing my fingers comes from. Though now they usually smell of aftershave and cigarettes because I’m a rock star.
Anyway enough about murder and sniffing for now, you’ll be happy (I hope) to know I’m not diseased after all it seems. Blood tests came back with an all clear, well I’m not anaemic at least, I dunno what else they’re testing for I have to go back next week. Still having bouts of bleeding and stomach cramps but I’m feeling a little better, I was actually in a good mood at work today which is rare. No sickness all week! Which is good because I really like food and I have a game of Monopoly Pub Crawl in London this weekend.
What’s monopoly pub crawl you ask? You have a pint in a pub located in each one of the squares, all in all it’s about 22 pubs so that’ll be 22 pints. Pretty safe to say I’m going to be fucked up this weekend, but at least this time when I’m sick; it’ll be self inflicted.
(Oh by the way, thanks to Nicole @ The Middlest Sister for my new banner(s)! I’m a massive fan of her work and I’m glad to have it plastered all over my blog :D)