Let’s start from the beginning though shall we? As you may have read there were plans to go to London this weekend to do a monopoly pub crawl, what that is exactly is you have to go to each one of the places on the monopoly board game and have a pint in a pub on that street. Sounds easy enough but that’s a total of 22 pubs!
I can safely say in all the times I’ve been out drinking over the last decade I’ve never gone to 22 different pubs in one drinking session before. If we were doing pints, that’s 22 pints but we thought we’d try and actually accomplish the task this time around and opted to do half pints, which is only 11 pints.
Me and my mate Phil headed down to London Friday night, more friends were joining us on the day, pretty uneventful Friday; it was cold, we were tired and we needed to get an early start for the next day. Saturday arrived and we were up, showered and dressed. Had our expensive shit hotel breakfast and we were off. Made it to our first pub at around 10am.
The owners saw us hanging around outside and opened the pub early for us so we could get the drink, it was a bit of a dive but it was definitely my sort of pub. It’s like the pub I go to on my lunch breaks.
We had to wait for 40 minutes for our friend to arrive but once he did, he pounded a half and we were off to the next pub.
We walked in and it was dark, my mate Jake comes out with “I thought this was a strip bar when we walked in” to which the barman replied, “It is.”
It was blatantly a strip club; though there were no strippers so we didn’t hang about.
By this point I was already starting to get a bit sweaty from the travelling. I’d clothed for a cold day considering how the night before felt yet it was beautiful and sunny all day. Bah!
It was a shame we had to leave this pub, we sat outside and chilled out for a bit in the beer garden while the sun shone down upon us. Because it was so hot and I was wearing black leather shoes my feet were beginning to hurt. Little did I know how much of a problem this was going to be.
All of our group mistook the name of this pub for the “Biscuit House” and the barmaid wasn’t impressed when I asked her why it was called this.
We were pretty knackered from all of the travelling by this pub and I remarked that after several hours we’d only done five pubs and had another seventeen to go.
A lot of locals in this pub, I kept moaning about my feet hurting. I knew at this point they’d be suffering from blisters.
By this point, the pubs started to blend into one. One of the guys I was out with remarked how well we were doing, if we were doing pints we’d have been doing well but in reality we’d only had three and a half pints.
Really beginning to struggle to walk by this point and we weren’t even half way through! I could see my toes wanting to burst out of the side of my shoe. I think it was by this point that I just took my shoes off for a rest for a bit. I can see why women do it now.
I say Vine Street, Vine Street is just actually a small little side road with nothing on it. I honestly don’t know why it’s even on the board in the first place so we had to go to a pub just round the corner. It still counts though and thus we hit the half way mark.
The funny thing about Trafalgar Square is my parents were stopping in a hotel just opposite Nelson’s Column, I really did just feel like ringing my parents and asking them if I could borrow a pair of my dads shoes, I persevered and besides we weren’t that far away from the finish line, I just hobbled around trooping on to the next pub. After failing the 100 Shots of Beer challenge I had something to prove.
Yep we went into a casino for this one where my mate Phil ended up blowing £50 on Blackjack, I made £6 on Roulette; I was happy with that.
Victory was in our grasp!
Considering this was the second to the last pub and I was totally sober, which probably had something to do with my crippled feet I decided to go for a pint rather than a half and though we were going in rounds before, I bought my own because I was sick of people buying me Guinness “for a laugh”.
I had a sat down for awhile, some girl wanted to sit down but fuck her, my feet were killing me, it’s not like I’d get anything other than pain if I let her sit down anyway. Everyone we were out with saw I’d bought a pint and followed suit.
And that was the game done. We all had a pint in this one too so that equated to thirteen pints which isn’t bad for a night out. Though it was bad on my finances as I’d spent around £150 by this point.
After that me and my mate Jake wanted to go back to the hotel, Phil and Matt wanted to continue partying which is fine. We got the tube back to Canning Town and were meant to switch but I said let’s just get a taxi, I was pulling deep within myself to keep moving.
I could barely walk due to those damned shoes, my calve muscles were screwed because of how I was trying to walk to keep the pressure off where the blisters were. We walked out of the station and just stood on the side of the road for about half an hour trying to get a taxi, eventually one did come past and he took us back to our hotel.
I remarked to Jake that had the taxi driver said he wouldn’t take us to our hotel, I probably would have broke down and cried. Once we got back I took off my shoes and socks and my feet were covered in blisters. My little toe basically swelled up to twice its size. I’d show you photo’s of that but I like you and wouldn’t want to subject you to such things.
Once back in the hotel I had a foot soak.
Despite the foot ache I tried to keep good spirits, had I been wearing more sensible footwear I would have enjoyed it a lot more. Next time we do it I want to try pints. Though saying that once we got back to the hotel we had a pint at the bar and a pepperoni pizza. 40 minutes after getting into bed I had to get up and throw up everything I’d consumed that day.
Such a waste.