Monopoly Pub Crawl

Monopoly BoardSo it’s pretty safe to say that I nearly died this weekend, not from consuming vast amounts of alcohol (though that did happen) but by having the thoughts of taking my own life.

Let’s start from the beginning though shall we? As you may have read there were plans to go to London this weekend to do a monopoly pub crawl, what that is exactly is you have to go to each one of the places on the monopoly board game and have a pint in a pub on that street. Sounds easy enough but that’s a total of 22 pubs!

I can safely say in all the times I’ve been out drinking over the last decade I’ve never gone to 22 different pubs in one drinking session before. If we were doing pints, that’s 22 pints but we thought we’d try and actually accomplish the task this time around and opted to do half pints, which is only 11 pints.

Me and my mate Phil headed down to London Friday night, more friends were joining us on the day, pretty uneventful Friday; it was cold, we were tired and we needed to get an early start for the next day. Saturday arrived and we were up, showered and dressed. Had our expensive shit hotel breakfast and we were off. Made it to our first pub at around 10am.

First Square: Old Kent Road
First Square: Old Kent Road

The owners saw us hanging around outside and opened the pub early for us so we could get the drink, it was a bit of a dive but it was definitely my sort of pub. It’s like the pub I go to on my lunch breaks.

We had to wait for 40 minutes for our friend to arrive but once he did, he pounded a half and we were off to the next pub.

Second Square: Whitechapel Road
Second Square: Whitechapel Road

We walked in and it was dark, my mate Jake comes out with “I thought this was a strip bar when we walked in” to which the barman replied, “It is.”

It was blatantly a strip club; though there were no strippers so we didn’t hang about.

Third Square: The Angel Islington
Third Square: The Angel Islington

By this point I was already starting to get a bit sweaty from the travelling. I’d clothed for a cold day considering how the night before felt yet it was beautiful and sunny all day. Bah!

Fourth Square: Euston Road
Fourth Square: Euston Road

It was a shame we had to leave this pub, we sat outside and chilled out for a bit in the beer garden while the sun shone down upon us. Because it was so hot and I was wearing black leather shoes my feet were beginning to hurt. Little did I know how much of a problem this was going to be.

Fifth Square: Pentonville Road
Fifth Square: Pentonville Road

All of our group mistook the name of this pub for the “Biscuit House” and the barmaid wasn’t impressed when I asked her why it was called this.

We were pretty knackered from all of the travelling by this pub and I remarked that after several hours we’d only done five pubs and had another seventeen to go.

Sixth Square: Pall Mall
Sixth Square: Pall Mall

A lot of locals in this pub, I kept moaning about my feet hurting. I knew at this point they’d be suffering from blisters.

Seventh Square: Whitehall
Seventh Square: Whitehall

By this point, the pubs started to blend into one. One of the guys I was out with remarked how well we were doing, if we were doing pints we’d have been doing well but in reality we’d only had three and a half pints.

Eighth Square: Northumberland Avenue
Eighth Square: Northumberland Avenue
Ninth Square: Bow Street
Ninth Square: Bow Street
Tenth Square: Marlborough Street
Tenth Square: Marlborough Street

Really beginning to struggle to walk by this point and we weren’t even half way through! I could see my toes wanting to burst out of the side of my shoe. I think it was by this point that I just took my shoes off for a rest for a bit. I can see why women do it now.

Eleventh Square: Vine Street
Eleventh Square: Vine Street

I say Vine Street, Vine Street is just actually a small little side road with nothing on it. I honestly don’t know why it’s even on the board in the first place so we had to go to a pub just round the corner. It still counts though and thus we hit the half way mark.

Twelve Square: Strand
Twelve Square: Strand
Fourteenth Square: Fleet Street
Thirteenth Square: Fleet Street
Fourteenth Square: Trafalgar Square
Fourteenth Square: Trafalgar Square

The funny thing about Trafalgar Square is my parents were stopping in a hotel just opposite Nelson’s Column, I really did just feel like ringing my parents and asking them if I could borrow a pair of my dads shoes, I persevered and besides we weren’t that far away from the finish line, I just hobbled around trooping on to the next pub. After failing the 100 Shots of Beer challenge I had something to prove.

Fifteenth Square: Leicester Square
Fifteenth Square: Leicester Square
Sixteenth Square: Coventry Street
Sixteenth Square: Coventry Street

Yep we went into a casino for this one where my mate Phil ended up blowing £50 on Blackjack, I made £6 on Roulette; I was happy with that.

Seventeenth Square: Piccadilly
Seventeenth Square: Piccadilly
Eighteenth Square: Oxford Street
Eighteenth Square: Oxford Street
Nineteenth Square: Regent Street
Nineteenth Square: Regent Street
Twentieth Square: Bond Street
Twentieth Square: Bond Street

Victory was in our grasp!

Twenty First Square: Park Lane
Twenty First Square: Park Lane

Considering this was the second to the last pub and I was totally sober, which probably had something to do with my crippled feet I decided to go for a pint rather than a half and though we were going in rounds before, I bought my own because I was sick of people buying me Guinness “for a laugh”.

I had a sat down for awhile, some girl wanted to sit down but fuck her, my feet were killing me, it’s not like I’d get anything other than pain if I let her sit down anyway. Everyone we were out with saw I’d bought a pint and followed suit.

Twenty Second Square: Mayfair
Twenty Second Square: Mayfair

And that was the game done. We all had a pint in this one too so that equated to thirteen pints which isn’t bad for a night out. Though it was bad on my finances as I’d spent around £150 by this point.

After that me and my mate Jake wanted to go back to the hotel, Phil and Matt wanted to continue partying which is fine. We got the tube back to Canning Town and were meant to switch but I said let’s just get a taxi, I was pulling deep within myself to keep moving.

I could barely walk due to those damned shoes, my calve muscles were screwed because of how I was trying to walk to keep the pressure off where the blisters were. We walked out of the station and just stood on the side of the road for about half an hour trying to get a taxi, eventually one did come past and he took us back to our hotel.

I remarked to Jake that had the taxi driver said he wouldn’t take us to our hotel, I probably would have broke down and cried. Once we got back I took off my shoes and socks and my feet were covered in blisters. My little toe basically swelled up to twice its size. I’d show you photo’s of that but I like you and wouldn’t want to subject you to such things.

Once back in the hotel I had a foot soak.

Despite the foot ache I tried to keep good spirits, had I been wearing more sensible footwear I would have enjoyed it a lot more. Next time we do it I want to try pints. Though saying that once we got back to the hotel we had a pint at the bar and a pepperoni pizza. 40 minutes after getting into bed I had to get up and throw up everything I’d consumed that day.

Such a waste.

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Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

16 thoughts on “Monopoly Pub Crawl”

  1. So after all the drink and a pizza plus your sore feet and throwing it all up, you had a great time 🙂

    You should have gone and watched a good football game, say Arsenal ?

    1. We were going to watch West Ham vs. Liverpool as my mates a massive Liverpool fan but by the time that was on we were broke, wallet wise and spirit wise. It was a brilliant day out though 😀

  2. hahah! Good times! I can’t wait to have you host a crawl. I’m actually familiar with some of those spots. I can only imagine how awful your poor feet must have felt. There’s nothing worse than blistered feet, knowing you still have to keep walking. You made it through — Good job, Pete!

      1. I was scared to open that link! Haha! You’re right, it was bad. Holy hell, you must have been in agony. I always bring an extra pair of flats in my purse when I’m in the city for situations like that. Guys are out of luck when it comes to stuff like that. I’m surprised you could feel your feet with all that alcohol!

  3. What kind of stripper bar doesn’t have strippers? WTF?? The only one of those pubs I’ve been in is the Sherlock Holmes. Now how did you go about choosing which pubs you’d go in? You covered a ton of ground across London, did you pick randomly?

    1. It was like half 11 in the morning but still, that’s no excuse. My mate did a bit of research beforehand but mainly we just pointed one out on the street we were meant to have a drink on 🙂

  4. Like our Grippy, I keep a pair of flats (those cute fold up kind) in my purse when I go out, it saves my feet. How you walked around on feet that look that sore is beyond me, you poor dear!! How did you settle what pub when to which square on the monopoly board? Clever idea, if I say so myself.

    1. Like I said to Lisa, I’ll have to take a pair of flip flops with me next time or even some sandals! That was just one foot 😦 I have about seven blisters in total, they don’t feel so bad now its mainly just my calves that are hurting from all the walking haha. My mate looked at some suggested pubs on some blogs that have done the monopoly challenge beforehand and some others we just went to random ones. We went in order of the board which is annoying because some pubs are close together but far apart on the board so there was a bit of back and forth travelling.

  5. Sounded like you had a blast! Lol. Well at least you lived through it and this might be one for the grand kids of how Grandpa Pete’s feet nearly drove him to commit suicide … or it might not. I totally understand the blistered feet, believe me when I say I do. A little bit of ice helped me 🙂

    1. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind for next time; my feet could have done with a bucket load haha. The next mission is to do it again and include the train stations. Then maybe the water works, though I’m not sure how we’ll manage that one yet.

  6. What a great pub crawl. I recognise nearly all those pubs (though I haven’t managed to visit many of them) and I know almost all the areas. I wouldn’t be surprised at the lack of strippers at that pub. It looks really manky (but there again, so do most stripper pubs) I pass by it whenever I’m on a bus that goes through the Whitechapel Road. All Bar One? Are you sure?!!! Hope your feet are better now

    1. Hah All Bar One wasn’t the worst place I went to during that trek! My feet are on the mend, as are my legs which is good because I have paintballing coming up and the last thing I need is to be walking around like a wounded animal haha.

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