Things I’ve Been Called This Week

beardfaceWow these weeks go by fast don’t they? Especially when the only thing you do after work is sleep and listen to old Ricky Gervais XFM shows on YouTube.

As you’ve might have noticed I’ve started growing a beard, I’ve made poor attempts at such in the past but usually given in to shaving either because I hadn’t yet reached puberty or my face was too itchy but I’ve perservered and gone past the itchy stage now.

It started when a guy at work wanted to see how much of an afro I could grow, it doesn’t grow forward and backwards like most peoples, just straight up. So I told him I’d stop shaving it and show him, then I decided I’d just go all out and not shave my face either. Last time I had a shave was end of October so it’s getting pretty long now.

I’ve noticed that people love to comment on appearance change, here’s just some of the things people at work have called me this week.


People have called me this for years when I grow my hair out and too be fair I do pretty much look like a microphone. It’s gotten to the point where some people sing into my head then tap me on the skull checking to see if it’s working. (It’s not.)


My team leader and another girl were discussing my growth the other day and my team leader came to the conclusion that I do in fact look like a lion, I don’t mind this so much as lions are pretty awesome; plus my starsign is Leo so it kind of fits. I was going to change my name to Snoop Lion but apparantly it’s already been taken. *shakes fist*


A guy that I work with has been calling me Big Country for awhile now, until I shave my hair into a Mohawk and then he’ll call me Iceman after Chuck Liddell so that’s something to look forward to; I could only dream of having hair like Roy, imagine me with a mullett. Fit.


This is a new one; another team leader who I rarely speak to walks past and she yells, “I’ve just realized who Peter looks like!”

“Who?!” Someone else asks.


I LOL’d down the phone while some guy was moaning about his broken computer. The conversation between me and the guy I was talking to then went a bit awkward.

“It never bloody works and since this critical patch has run it’s completely buggered”


“What’s funny?”

“I look like Teen Wolf.”



This one seems to be the most popular, my cousin’s daughters call me this, my own mother calls me this.

“Why don’t you just dye your hair white?” She’d say.

“Why don’t you just piss off.” I’d reply.

If I’m honest I like the attention, it seems to be a talking point. My manager turns to me earlier on today and just goes “Mate, you’re rate hairy.”

I’m not sure how long I’d let it grow, probably not as long as Roy Nelson or Santa Clause but who knows, I’m past the itchy stage and I quite enjoy just sitting there at work, looking sinister while stroking my beard.

Who do you think I look like?

And don’t say “a dick head” because that’s already a given.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

16 thoughts on “Things I’ve Been Called This Week”

      1. Do you use paint brushes to make little trees? (I have very curly hair, Pete, so, I feel your pain)

    1. Flaming, LOL!

      Did you roll up your sleeves and give her the gun show when you told her you were ‘Ard? Because without that, it does sometimes have that effect.

  1. I’m thinking Beast from X-Men: First Class, after he turns blue and stuff. Teen Wolf is really close though, but you might be too tall for that one.

    1. Haha that’s a good one Jon, I’m not above covering myself in blue paint either to get the full effect. I could be Teen Wolf, I tend to slouch a lot these days so I’d look the same height.

  2. Who? Or what?
    I put the picture’s URL into a Google Image search (where they compare the image with other images all over the web and produce the others that look most like it). Several dandy shots appeared, but this one is the winner, IMHO:
    I visited the URL and it’s a picture. But of what? Google seems to think it resembles you, hairs and all.
    I hope that you don’t mind that I posted a link here. Feel free to delete this comment if you do.

    1. Lol! I was tryng to do the face of the guy I was dressing up as for New Years, I need to get a Wolverine hair do going on then I’ll be dead on.

  3. Why don’t you just piss off? Hahah
    I would go with a lion because that’s my default name when anyone has a lot of hair. Lions are pretty cool, you’re right. It’s nice that you can grow a beard so quickly and keep your face warm!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s