Personal Hygiene

You know someone in the office isn’t regularly washing when you’re receiving e-mails like this at work:

Hi Guys

Sorry to be sending out another communication which may come across like complaining but…Can you all be considerate and aware of personal hygiene and cleanliness.

We have sit in very close proximity to one another therefore good personal hygiene is a must.

It has also been noticed that people are not washing their hands after using the toilet – this is really basic and people should not need reminding we are all adults not children.

Can you also please keep your shoes on in the office this is a health and safety risk and you could very easily have your foot wheeled on.


In other words, keep your shoes on because your feet smell. There are times in the day when I feel like my head is going to explode, then I get stuff like this popping up in my inbox and it keeps me going.

Guess this means no more pissing all over my hands and wiping it in my colleagues faces telling them it’s just water.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

21 thoughts on “Personal Hygiene”

  1. That’s nothing. At my old office someone in the women’s room was shitting on the floor every few days for a whole month. They disappeared and returned about 2 years later. Copycat shitter?

    There also were signs all over the place because those filthy women kept flushing their tampons down the toilet and this caused massive flooding inside and out of the building. Why are women so beautiful when they sit on a rainbow and so disgusting when they enter a restroom?

    1. HAHA! Copycat shitter! At a place I used to work years ago women used to wipe their blood clotted bogies across the wall in the ladies toilets. You look at the women and you try to imagine who would be the sort of person to do such a thing but alas they always got away with it.

      Women are vile beasts.

  2. Wow, it must be bad to have to send an email like that around the office. I can see how those who are not the problem might get a bit offended. But, then again, those who aren’t the problem might also be A LOT relieved if those who are the problem get the message! 😉

    1. Haha usually it’d be the managers job to take the smelly ones to one side and have a quiet word with them rather than send a mass email, still, had they not I wouldnt have been entertained!

  3. Ha ha ha, oh my God, this is brilliant! You should continue to wipe your pee hands over everyone else’s faces though… that’s how they’ve come to know you, if you stopped now morale may decrease by 1000%, or something.

    1. Yeah why change the way I live my life because of a stupid e-mail? I shall keep on giving them a golden high five because that’s the kind of guy I am! Thanks Anna 😀

  4. Do you have any idea who the culprit is? You should go up to them and be like, “Sick! is this email about you?!” And then they’ll quit out of embarrassment and you’ll get to take their place. 😀

    1. I’m not sure really, there’s a couple smelly people but they don’t really sit near me at all; unless I’m the smelly one, but that can’t be right because I smell gorgeous pretty much all the time.

      Excellent idea too, that or just pick someone and go “Man I can believe they’d embarrass you like this.” then they’ll eventually turn insane.

      1. Hahaha yes. He’s wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Too embarrassed to ever leave the house. All his friends will be cats within the next year or so.

  5. Eek! If the world ends anytime soon it just might be because of bad hygiene; toxic fumes from smelly feet. This reminded me to get some had sanitizer. Do you realize that every doorknob at work has the possibility that it has someone’s crap smeared on it?

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