I’ve Still Got It

peteSome would say I never lost it. I’ve been pretty quiet recently but I think it’s because I’m starting to run out of things to say; imagine that right?

The most exciting thing that’s even happened recently is Eleanor dying (which turned out I’d vastly over estimated the damage) and replaced her with Cecilia. (These are cars by the way in case you’re wondering if I’m in the sex trafficking trade or something.)

Thoughts crossed my mind about just giving up blogging altogether and just stalking all my favourite blogs but I will no doubt either get fired or screwed over in some way some time soon and I shall still need my outlet for my anger.

Saying that, works going pretty well at the moment, well I say “well” I just mean I still have a job. Lots of people on my team have left/been fired making it more difficult as it often means we’re answering call after call after call and I’m meant to be getting trained up on a different team where I take less first line calls and deal more with user accounts and access to various things. Though until we get more staff that’ll more than likely have to wait but the good news is they may be making me permanent soon which is great as I haven’t had a permanent job in nearly two years!

Speaking of people leaving though, the point of this post is to try and help me piece together Saturday night. A few of the girls that work at my place had left all around the same time so we had a big leaving night planned with dinner and drinks afterwards. The girl who convinced everyone to go to a Thai restaurant ended up not coming due to some poor excuse about her car breaking and having to spend her money fixing that. (Hello! I’ve just spent 1500 on a new car and I’m still out!)

I’ve never had Thai food and being the man that I am didn’t want to try any of it either so I picked the only decent thing on the menu, steak and chips.

Generic Pete Photo Face.
Generic Pete Photo Face.

pete1After the meal they handed out those boiling hot wet clothes that you’re meant to cleanse your face with, which ended up in a war throwing them at each other between the two tables we’d occupied. Then I started sticking things up my nose. Bet the staff were glad to be rid of us!

We then paid up and headed out to some pubs; it was the first time since probably London back in December where I had a proper night out drinking and the first time in years I went out around Chesterfield, safe to say it’s still as shit as its ever been. But it was the first time a bunch of us from work had gone out since I was there so it was pretty awesome.

Quote of the night goes to one of my team leaders, “Pete, every photo from tonight’s been shit. Either because you’re in it or because you’ve taken it!” Too be fair I was pulling the classic Pete face in almost every photo.

The original plan was to have a few drinks then drive home safely as my car was at a friends just outside the town centre, but I ended up having loads of drinks and planning stop a girls house then drive home in the morning. I think it was around 1am when my friend Greg bought me a shot which was labelled “Vodka” but had the ever so slightest taste of battery acid when things started to get a bit fuzzy.

I Don't Even Know What I'm Smoking In That.
I Don’t Even Know What I’m Smoking In That.

The girl whose house I was meant to be crashing at said she wanted to go soon, I remember having no cigarettes and no cash so thought I’d go to the cash machine, get some cash then find a shop on the way home, there’s bound to be somewhere open at that time right?

It’s been awhile where I’ve been ill from alcohol and it’s probably the first time ever where I haven’t actually remembered all aspects of the night before. I remember going towards a cash machine, ending up in a car park throwing up all over the place like a tramp, having a sit down next to my own sick to take a breather then staggering in the middle of the road towards my friends house where my car was thinking “tonight is the night I’m going to die”. My car was probably a mile away from where I was and it was around 2am so there wasn’t a lot of traffic on the road.

The next thing I know, it’s 6am and I’m waking up shivering and wet through from the snow (Snow! In March!) inside my car with the window wide open with an unlit cigarette in my mouth, where I even got that from I don’t know as had I previously stated; I had ran out of cigarettes.

I don’t recall actually finding my car or getting inside or putting my keys in the ignition to open the window to smoke the mysterious cigarette. When I woke up my throat felt raw, my mouth dry and my head throbbing. I lit the cigarette as it seemed the right thing to do, smoked it and drove home, stripped off and collapsed into bed where I stayed until half three this afternoon.

Waking up to a load of texts and Facebook messages from people asking me where I was. My mother asking me why I had lipstick and sick down my shirt which I’d left nonchalantly next to the washing machine.

Safe to say it was a mental night, dreading work tomorrow because there’s bound to be some stories and there’s gonna be at least someone I’d offended that night.

What impresses me more is how when you’re battered, your body just goes into auto pilot and takes you where you need to be to feel safe, i.e. my car.

One of the texts I’d got; “Awesome night last night, same time in a couple of weeks?!”



Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

20 thoughts on “I’ve Still Got It”

  1. These are the nights everyone needs to have once in a while and nobody needs to have every week. Glad to see you’re still being Pete. How long has it been since you shaved the beard? Why do all English girls look like they just want to get pregnant and die?

    This piece could easily be a promotion for the new Hangover movie.

    1. The end of October was the last time I’d shaved, I was going to do that whole Movember thing but then just didn’t bother shaving at all. Now I’m torn because having a beard is annoying but at the same time I want to see how epic it can become.

      Also that’s all English women want, what else is there for them to do but to get pregnant and die?

      I swear last night was a one man Hangover film.

          1. Rename the book something to do with cancer. I’ve been fooling people on Amazon for a while now into buying my stuff. You should put some of your short stories up. Seems like people buy the short stuff a lot more. It’s also cheaper though…

            1. Ascenionem De Insania… Cancer.

              I was thinking of collecting the short stuff, I need to write more though. Sort of like Terry Pratchett’s recently released collected works.

              1. Go for it. I’m actually writing three different short stories. I’m going to release them separately then all together. I mean, I doubt they’ll be hits but it’s one more thing out there. I put up a book about 2 weeks ago of some of my best blog posts. It’s gotten over 80 downloads on Smashwords already. Maybe this is something you may want to do?

                Any idea when your book will come out? You should for sure put something up on Amazon or Smashwords even if it’s free. It may motivate you to write more.

                1. I haven’t even touched it since NaNoWriMo in November, what I need is like a couple weeks off work to purely focus on it. When I come home from work all I want to do is eat and sleep which is why blogging has been neglected too. All these idiots that can’t remember a simple password after being off work for 2 days or don’t know what an enter key is kills my braincells.

                  Definitely will look into getting something up, I’ve never actually created an ebook, is it difficult?

                  1. You should try editing 1,000 words a night or so. I burn myself out too easily but if you have less time to even work on it you may be more productive.

                    It’s pretty easy. I did it after all 🙂

                    The formatting is a little annoying and overwhelming at first. I can always help you with it when the time comes. You may even want to put it up on Amazon exclusively at first so you can actually make it free, they’re dicks about giving out free promotions.

                    If you have any short stories you need me to edit let me know now while I have lots of time. Even a simple 3,000 word thing could be nice to have up there. It may also drive traffic to your blog.

                    Blah blah blah boring shit

                    1. I don’t even have a 3000 word short story I don’t think, just the shit I post on my other blog. I shall be coming to you when I’ve finished the novel though and we can work on making me a millionaire. 🙂

  2. What impresses ME the most is that you never fail to make me laugh with all of your travails. Sitting in your snowy car with an unlit cigarette and a raw throat!!! LOL!! I was just thinking this morning about Lily and I making a visit. I want to enjoy Pete, full throttle. I need to have some of this ridiculous fun.
    Good for you on almost getting a permanent place at work. No one deserves it more. 🙂

    1. At least I’d have you two to look after me haha! Last night, I could have been gangraped by 20 men and I wouldn’t have known a thing… maybe that’s why I had a raw throat and a cigarette?

      Still haven’t figured out where the lipstick came from either. Agh!!

  3. This reminds me of so many Canterbury nights. Walking to the pub I would pass random piles of girls collapsed on the sidewalk sleeping next to piles of throw up. Such a stand up town.

    I really miss England though. I’ve never seen people go so totally mental every day of the week. I’m glad that you’re still in one piece. Nice pictures–nice neck beard!

    Yesss Cecilia! What a classy broad.

    1. Random piles of girls you say? I need to get me to Canterbury for a night out!

      My beards annoying, why can’t I grow a thick beast of a beard? Why must it be all around my neck?! I’d be rubbish at growing a goatee.

  4. I totally get where you’re at, I haven’t posted for a while either as I don’t seem to have much to say. Having said that, I am so happy you shared your drunken story with us… afterall, you never hear a good story start with, ‘This one time, I had a salad…’ 🙂

    1. This one time, I had a salad… that was laced with alcohol, the next thing I know, I’m helping a Giraffe give birth. No word of a lie. 😛

      I keep visiting your blog every monday, I’m like a lost puppy searching for its owner when you’re not about!

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