I’m going to self indulge today, I hope you don’t mind.

Six months ago I wrote about the arrival of a new kitten due to one of the cats going missing, only for it to return and us ending up with four cats in total. In Lost And Found I wrote about how annoyed I got when we’d get a replacement cat because then it’s just another thing I’m going to get attached to only for it to eventually be torn away.

jay3It’s with a heavy heart that I must say this has happened again. I woke up for work just like any other morning, started getting ready for work and took a look outside to see if it was snowing (it was snowing yesterday morning you see) but what I saw wasn’t snow; it was Jay laying in the road, his head surrounded by a pool of blood.

Must have happened between 6am – 6:25am as that’s when my mother left the house and when I looked out of the window. I threw my clothes on and rushed outside; he’d obviously just ran out into the road right in front of an incoming car, his poor little head caved under the pressure of the tire. I imagined him to have died instantly which is at least some comfort, at least he wasn’t hit and died alone writhing in pain.

Safe to say I was pretty shook up, I shakily pull out my phone and tell my mum what had happened while still kneeling in the middle of the road, she loves the cats more than I do; I told her I’d put him in a plastic bag and that she shouldn’t look inside it. I grabbed a bin bag and picked him up, his body was still warm. I placed him inside the bag and took him to the garage where my mum later took him to the vets to have him cremated.

His death has affected me probably more than any other animals has, I grew to love him quickly; he was such a playful cat, always running about the house, laying at the top of the stairs, chasing a laser pen, playing with my cousins two little girls. Definitely just an energy filled big ball of fluff. My cousin’s youngest has her own little chair and another one just for the cat to sit on next to her. I know they’ll be gutted when they find out.

Jay and Tyson
Jay and Tyson

Jay was just a little over 9 months old, didn’t even experience a full year of life; and in that time always cheered me up when I came home stressed from work and even laid by my side when I was ill a couple months ago. The house already feels empty without him, I noticed that while I was picking Jay up off the road my other cat Tyson was sat at the window watching me and when I got in from work today he was on my bed waiting to greet me; which he never does and hasn’t left my side since.

I think had he been run over elsewhere and we never saw him again it would have been an easier pill to swallow; I’d have just imagined he ran away. But to see him how he was before and how he ended up…

I keep looking out of the window and still seeing the dark stain on the road where the blood was this morning and my head keeps getting flashes of images of what he looked like. It’s the stuff that’s going to haunt me for a while.

Thankfully people at work left me alone today when they found out, apart from my manager who gave me a hug, which nearly brought me to tears. That’d have been good while trying to reset someones password over the phone. Luckily, even in these situations I’m ‘Ard and managed to fight it.

Just another reason why I never want pets when I eventually get my own place.

R.I.P Jay – Such a shame.


Author: 'Ard Pete

Hey everyone, my names Pete, friends call me 'Ard Pete because... well, I'm well 'Ard. Currently in Chesterfield, England, currently working as an I.T. Technical Lead for BT Business and Public Sector; it sounds more glamourous than it is but I'm a dab hand with Microsoft products. I enjoy television, mainly any Star Trek, all of Stargate, Lost, anything Joss Whedon has produced, 24 and House. Favourite music includes; Mumford and Sons, Jason Mraz, Eminem, Chris Cornell, Ludovico Einaudi, Goo Goo Dolls, Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars basically a wide variety of anything that's real, I hate dance, trance and anything like that, I don't consider that to be music. Not much of a sports guy, I like Professional Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts, Boxing, I can watch Football but only when I'm forced to watch it. Favourite author is Terry Pratchett, favourite film is Armageddon, favourite comedian is Lee Evans, favourite idiot is Karl Pilkington, favourite game is GTAIII, if there's anything else you wish to know, don't hesitate to ask. I'll more than likely not be busy.

21 thoughts on “Lost”

  1. I’m so sorry, Pete. This is too sad. Poor little baby. What a precious boy. 😦
    Do you live on a busy street? Maybe it would be better to keep them in until they’re a little older? When we moved into our house we had three cats. Within the year our little Boppo ended up in the road, dead, like Jay. The other two seemed smart enough to stay away. Little Boppo was the sweetest cat I’ve ever owned but he was not so intelligent, I’m afraid. It still just breaks our heart to think of and it’s been 15 years. Love is so painful. I think jay must have died very quickly, so at least that’s something… You’re right.
    If I was there I’d give you a major hug.
    I’m sorry you have to go through this, not even Ard Pete should feel this sadness.
    all my love…

    1. The streets not particularly busy, especially at that time of the morning, just a freak occurrence, it’s difficult to keep em in when they figure out how to use the cat flaps as if we keep them locked then the other cats or forever meowing to come in and out. I know what you mean though missing a cat even after years have gone by, it’s been nearly 10 years since my cat Ziggy died, she had to be put to sleep because she was just getting so ill all the time, I think her liver was failing or something, she was the only cat I ever considered mine. I still say though it was better to have that time with them than not at all. 🙂

      1. I agree. I know we’ll see them again, though. I wasn’t saying that about letting them out to point a finger… I’ve had a few cats die on the roadside, too. It’s awful. Sometimes the sweetest ones are a little dumb when it comes to navigating the dangers of the road. I’m sorry, Pete. Wish I was there to give you a proper hug. Know that I’m thinking of you. xoxo

        1. I know you weren’t 🙂 Just saying it’s difficult when there’s three other cats that are in and out all the time. If it were up to me all my cats would be indoors cats. I’m feeling a little better than I was now, still feeling the void but time heals n all that.

          1. I know. Time is the only remedy and even then it’s difficult. From one cat lover to another I know the indoor out door thing is hard. We’ve lost a number of cats on the road. The idea of keeping them inside all the time seems unnatural, too. Maybe it’s better to have a shorter life with more freedom than a long one cooped up like a prisoner?
            I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better. I’ve been thinking about you. Be well, my Pete. xoxo

  2. I’m sorry for your loss. 😦 I’ve never really been a cat person, but we had lots of dogs over the years. It hurts every time we lose one, much more a baby. Wreak havoc there in kitty heaven, lil Jay.

    1. Thank you 🙂 I’m more of a dog person too if I’m honest, it took me a while to get over my dog getting put to sleep some years back and I know it’s gonna hurt when the one I have now inevitably passes on. I hope they know how much they’re loved when they’re around the little bastards haha.

  3. Oh, Pete. I’m so sorry. I’ve been where you are, fella.

    I witnessed my cat being attacked in the neighbour’s back garden by their Pitbull when I was living at my mum’s. She was fearless and often squared up to dogs when she had a little wander out front. I guess her luck finally ran out. She was eight years old. The neighbour was a bit of a wrong ‘un anyway, but to the credit of his daughter, who was as distraught as I was, she handed her over the fence so I could hold her one more time. To this day, over twenty years later, if he happens to be at his door when I go and visit the parent, I have an overwhelming urge to punch him. And I’m not one to go for violence as a first resort.

    Jay had a big impact on many people in his short life. You were definitely lucky to have him. Look after yourself.

    1. Wow if I actually witnessed another animal kill one of my own I don’t know what I’d do, I’d have demanded the little shit to be put down! And thank you, I definitely was. 🙂

  4. I’m really sorry to hear about Jay, he looks such an adorable cat. When Vladimir the hamster died last year I didn’t feel right for weeks. Some people will say they are just animals, but they become so much more than that- they become your friends and your family. You form a bond with animals that is so meaningful that when they pass away it can be one of the hardest things in the world. Just make sure you look after your ‘Ard self, my friend, I’m sending you internet-based hugs 🙂

    1. Thank you Anna 🙂 I have missed you greatly but you always show up at the right time, the people that say they’re only animals are either heartless or don’t have any of their own.

      1. Cheers, Pete. I’ve missed you too and think about you a lot. Not quite sure if I am totally back yet… life, you know? Aah. I just need some more jellybeans 🙂

        1. I know what you mean, my frequency has dwindled as of late. Still at least we’re safe in the knowledge that when I do post, it’s always gold 😀

  5. Like my mom said, this same thing happened to our cat, and it was so tragic. Animals are so innocent and sweet, it’s painful to think of them dying so soon. I’m glad that you have a big heart and love and respect animals. Anyone who doesn’t like animals has something seriously wrong with them.
    I’m glad Jay died quickly, and probably painlessly. You gave him a great life, and that’s all that a cat could hope for and more.
    So sorry Pete. RIP Sweet little Jay 😦

    1. Thank you Lillington, not all animals or innocent (some of them are right bastards) but all of mine have been, it still doesn’t feel real even now, I keep going downstairs expecting to see him down there, my mother has a strange obsession with keeping the ashes of every animal that’s died, it’s like a bloody grave yard in our house :\

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