Luckiest Man In The World

ThankYouWhile I write this, I must admit that I am currently quite intoxicated; I had attended a work friends wedding where I some how managed a jagerbomb, two pints of bitter and 9 Jack Daniels and cokes on an empty stomach. I know; you must think me a legend, you wouldn’t be mistaken.

However as a result of that I find the room spinning and writing this is all I can do to stop me from wasting £40 worth of drinks. It’s also at this stage where I feel quite sentimental, Pete Howorth, the ‘Ardest man that ever lived, feeling sentimental; shocking right?

I don’t know if anyone reads this anymore but it helps me get things off of my mind and it’ll probably help me sleep better, anyway you never know what a drunk Pete will say. (Only to more than likely regret it in the morning)

But it’s these sort of times where I realise that I am lucky to be the person who I am. I live a life where my brains constantly switched on, so much so that I probably only average three to four hours of sleep a night just because for one reason or another I lay awake at night constantly second guessing every single thing I did that day. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’ve made so many mistakes over the years; I try and make sure I don’t repeat history.
Continue reading “Luckiest Man In The World”

Pride

PridePeople that have known me for some years know that it’s pretty common knowledge that I have in my life so far had a lot of jobs. I know people that have had just as many, people that may have only had one or two. How many in total have I had? Not even I know that answer as some of them don’t even appear on my CV.

I’ve mentioned previously that I tend to get bored easily at what I’m doing and then I start to piss around, subconsciously trying to self sabotage myself which results in me having to find new work either by my choice or theirs. I put it down to the fact that I just didn’t know what I wanted to do in life.

I originally started out as a cleaner at Chesterfield College before moving onto a full time job at a horrific paperboard packaging company; eventually leaving there and working in an electronics factory. From there I’ve done data entry, glass packing, I was a gardener at a covenant, hotel receptionist, outbound sales, kitchen porter in France, customer service advisor and even door to door sales for about four days.

A lot of them have been temporary jobs just to get me by until the next opportunity came along and it wasn’t that I was really all that bad at work; in fact in most cases I excelled at everything I did. Having such a wide variety of job roles over the years has given me the ability to pick things up quickly. And while I tried my best in everything I did; the only thing I haven’t gotten from any of those is pride. Continue reading “Pride”

Fear

OldAgeSo it’s been awhile since I’ve done this blogging malarky, so bear with me.

Does anyone even read/visit this thing anymore? I don’t know, I’m not the world megastar I used to be. But never the less I’ve been wanting to get back into it for awhile but I sit in front of a computer all day at work; struggling with the desire to just stand up and yell “FUCK THIS” and walk out. So by the time I get home all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide until I’m demanded to show my face again.

The other day a friend asked me what I fear the most; not the sort of fear you’d grant spiders or giant moths, but what really scares me. The thing that’s constantly in the back of my mind.

Too be honest, I’m pretty thick skinned and I rarely show my true emotions so I don’t often share a great deal with many people.

But I will tell you the one thing that’s constantly at the back of my mind, the one thing that worries me on a daily basis, the thing that fills my mind when I shut my eyes. For many people the one thing that they fear the most is death; that not knowing what lies beyond your final breath; for many they believe in a religion and it helps them day in and day out; believing that what you do when you’re alive will decide your ultimate fate whether it be heaven, hell or even reincarnation, but I personally believe that after we close our eyes for the last time what lies beyond is nothingness.

Do you remember what life was like before you were born? No of course you don’t because you didn’t exist and I think that after we die we’ll simply cease to exist again. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, we get our years on this Earth and when your time comes that’s it; you’ll just be no more.

So no death does not scare me, because once you’re dead you’ll feel no more pain, physical or mental and believe me I’ve had my fair share of both over my three decades on this planet.

So what really frightens me to my very core then? Quite simply, old age.
Continue reading “Fear”

Love yourself

Amy's Blog

heart-700141_960_720It’s easy for me to write posts about things that I need to work on – my need to let go of control, balance myself out more in life, stop being so selfish, meditate more, move my body, say sorry more, stop being so stubborn, focus less on my physical appearance and more on my internal self, be more physical…and that’s just a few moments of me opening the floodgates for a few moments…geez!

I find it a lot harder, however, to talk about and acknowledge what I am good at and why I love myself. Writing this post has been torture, I’ve walked away several times, watched some trash TV and found myself focusing on any distraction to avoid writing out it. Not to mention nearly stopping several times because of the thoughts in my mind:

People will think you’re so vain talking about why you love yourself

You’ve got such…

View original post 433 more words

How do you want to feel?

Follow this beautiful human being! Amy is one of my best friends, probably the complete opposite to what I am which is maybe why we get on so well. She’s just started blogging so you should read up on what she’s doing.:)

Amy's Blog

wordle 4

In 2015, I organised a talent programme at work to support staff who had ideas about how to improve the organisation but didn’t necessarily have the contacts or clout to put them into action. It was an amazing experience and such a privilege to witness the growth of so many members of staff.

Yesterday was the feedback session; a time for these people to get together and consider how they could keep the momentum of growth going in their personal and professional lives. In this session, I introduced the participants to Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.

I’ve found Danielle’s work to be really vital in my development over the past year. It’s a process where you explore and decide how you want to feel in life and you let your daily decisions be governed by whether your choices will bring more of what you want to feel into your life. Danielle calls these feelings ‘core desires’…

View original post 272 more words

‘Ards ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

The lightings shit because apparently Summers over and it gets dark pretty early, the outside light wouldn’t stay on and I had three torches pointed at me. Couple that with the fact that the web cam on my laptop is shit, you get the resulting video:)

Donate by texting “Iced55 £5” to 70075 if you’re in the UK – and however you’d do it if you’re in the US!

Happy Birthday To Me…

yeahboiSo I felt like writing this because I have all of this action running around in my head.

It all started on Thursday 31st of July – the day of one of my good friends wedding, some friends had come back to Chesterfield to attend, a friend who lives in China, friends who live in Brighton, a good night was had, an awesome wedding took place.

While we were there it was realized that my birthday’s on Sunday (today) so they decided that we were having a night out in Chesterfield on Saturday.

I’m not usually a guy who likes to drink round Chesterfield, I find that the doormen are too full of themselves and think they can do what they want, the other patrons are also keen to get in trouble to assert their dominance, I have no need of this at my age. I’ve been through all of that. I just wanted a good night.

So we went out, saw some old friends, a few of us went into the town centre and sure enough the first pub we happened to walk into, trouble kicked off.

Near the windows they have these doors that are blocked off by a railing, I decided I wanted to join a friend for a cigarette so I hopped over the railing rather than go out the main door, the bouncer promptly came over and told me I wasn’t allowed back inside, I didn’t really care because the place was a shit hole anyway (Aruba incase anyone from Chez reads this). My friend reached over the little barrier to grab a swig of his drink, not really allowed but didn’t deserve the bouncer storming over, snatching the pint from his hand and pouring it all over his shoes.
Continue reading “Happy Birthday To Me…”