Luckiest Man In The World

ThankYouWhile I write this, I must admit that I am currently quite intoxicated; I had attended a work friends wedding where I some how managed a jagerbomb, two pints of bitter and 9 Jack Daniels and cokes on an empty stomach. I know; you must think me a legend, you wouldn’t be mistaken.

However as a result of that I find the room spinning and writing this is all I can do to stop me from wasting £40 worth of drinks. It’s also at this stage where I feel quite sentimental, Pete Howorth, the ‘Ardest man that ever lived, feeling sentimental; shocking right?

I don’t know if anyone reads this anymore but it helps me get things off of my mind and it’ll probably help me sleep better, anyway you never know what a drunk Pete will say. (Only to more than likely regret it in the morning)

But it’s these sort of times where I realise that I am lucky to be the person who I am. I live a life where my brains constantly switched on, so much so that I probably only average three to four hours of sleep a night just because for one reason or another I lay awake at night constantly second guessing every single thing I did that day. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’ve made so many mistakes over the years; I try and make sure I don’t repeat history.
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Pride

PridePeople that have known me for some years know that it’s pretty common knowledge that I have in my life so far had a lot of jobs. I know people that have had just as many, people that may have only had one or two. How many in total have I had? Not even I know that answer as some of them don’t even appear on my CV.

I’ve mentioned previously that I tend to get bored easily at what I’m doing and then I start to piss around, subconsciously trying to self sabotage myself which results in me having to find new work either by my choice or theirs. I put it down to the fact that I just didn’t know what I wanted to do in life.

I originally started out as a cleaner at Chesterfield College before moving onto a full time job at a horrific paperboard packaging company; eventually leaving there and working in an electronics factory. From there I’ve done data entry, glass packing, I was a gardener at a covenant, hotel receptionist, outbound sales, kitchen porter in France, customer service advisor and even door to door sales for about four days.

A lot of them have been temporary jobs just to get me by until the next opportunity came along and it wasn’t that I was really all that bad at work; in fact in most cases I excelled at everything I did. Having such a wide variety of job roles over the years has given me the ability to pick things up quickly. And while I tried my best in everything I did; the only thing I haven’t gotten from any of those is pride. Continue reading “Pride”

Fear

OldAgeSo it’s been awhile since I’ve done this blogging malarky, so bear with me.

Does anyone even read/visit this thing anymore? I don’t know, I’m not the world megastar I used to be. But never the less I’ve been wanting to get back into it for awhile but I sit in front of a computer all day at work; struggling with the desire to just stand up and yell “FUCK THIS” and walk out. So by the time I get home all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide until I’m demanded to show my face again.

The other day a friend asked me what I fear the most; not the sort of fear you’d grant spiders or giant moths, but what really scares me. The thing that’s constantly in the back of my mind.

Too be honest, I’m pretty thick skinned and I rarely show my true emotions so I don’t often share a great deal with many people.

But I will tell you the one thing that’s constantly at the back of my mind, the one thing that worries me on a daily basis, the thing that fills my mind when I shut my eyes. For many people the one thing that they fear the most is death; that not knowing what lies beyond your final breath; for many they believe in a religion and it helps them day in and day out; believing that what you do when you’re alive will decide your ultimate fate whether it be heaven, hell or even reincarnation, but I personally believe that after we close our eyes for the last time what lies beyond is nothingness.

Do you remember what life was like before you were born? No of course you don’t because you didn’t exist and I think that after we die we’ll simply cease to exist again. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, we get our years on this Earth and when your time comes that’s it; you’ll just be no more.

So no death does not scare me, because once you’re dead you’ll feel no more pain, physical or mental and believe me I’ve had my fair share of both over my three decades on this planet.

So what really frightens me to my very core then? Quite simply, old age.
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‘Ards ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

The lightings shit because apparently Summers over and it gets dark pretty early, the outside light wouldn’t stay on and I had three torches pointed at me. Couple that with the fact that the web cam on my laptop is shit, you get the resulting video 🙂

Donate by texting “Iced55 £5” to 70075 if you’re in the UK – and however you’d do it if you’re in the US!

New Job!

i-cant-keep-calm-because-i-got-a-new-jobSo you may have noticed that I had mentioned that I may be getting a new job elsewhere over the last couple of posts. I had recently found out that I’ll definitely be moving jobs next month!

At the moment I do IT Support for Royal Mail and while it was challenging when I first started it’s just repetitive now and not something I enjoy doing. Not to mention that the company I work for isn’t great, management barely have a clue and as for the career aspirations, pretty much non-existant where I am now, the only thing I could look forward to is training up on another account and eventually doing both at the same time for no more money.

I was lucky when I arrived to have such a wealth of knowledge to learn from however all of those people have now left and gone on to bigger and better things, there’s very few left that know more than I do on the helpdesk now. While I kind of like being the person people go to for help I think I’ve gotten everything I want out of that place and it’s time to move on myself.

The job I’ll be doing is a lot more technical with regards to resolving issues, rather than logging support tickets to other resolver teams which is what the place I’m at now is more focused.
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Sooo……

ard13Sup?

Many of you probably think I died in a pool of my own vomit and blood somewhere right? Well unfortunately I’m still about.

Keep saying that I’ll get round to posting more but I never do mainly because my weeks usually just involve work and I’m not allowed to talk about that really so there’s never really anything to say; too be honest I had thought about just getting rid of this thing all together but how can I when I love you all so much?

The fact that I still get followers even though I haven’t posted for nearly two months is pretty cool also, means I’m still awesome.

What have I been doing lately? That’s a good question, thanks for bringing it up; as I said previously, mainly work which is becoming increasingly stressful as time goes on; over the last couple of years you’ve gone through a ride with me from working for shitty service desks in Sheffield, data entry in Rotherham, “Customer Service Manager” (LOLOLOLOL) for some shit tent company, never really pans out, something always happens however I’ve now been at the job I’m in for almost a year now; the place has changed so much when I first started a short 12 months ago.
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Another Edition

ayaredeeYo people, welcome to another edition of “Holy Fuck It’s ‘Ard Pete”. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post which was basically just me singing a Muse song; my internet has been screwy lately meaning I’ve been having to get my Facebook fix using my phone or using my slow ass computer that barely switches on let alone actually do anything with it.

It pisses me off how all these people are on fibre optic broadband and getting mega download/connection speeds and I’m barely doing better than a 56k modem. Even then I’m pretty sure things were quicker.

In any case the router has been replaced and I’m back in play. Not much has happened really, the big day came for my probation meeting at work; I had been working for an agency for six months before they made me permanent then when you’re made permanent you have to do a three month probation period – it was all going so well until the last couple of weeks when stress and anger began to overcome me; storming down the office yelling obscenities, throw in a few instances of throwing things at people and that thing then hitting the wrong person and you’ve got a recipe for the sack.

Luckily because my works so brilliant because I’m extremely clever (I’m not even boasting) they just extended my probation for another three months for me to improve my attitude; which I’m attempting to do; I tell ya though, sometimes it’s difficult. When you’ve got someone on the phone yelling at you because they’ve broken their computer because they’ve been downloading things they shouldn’t have and somehow it’s my fault; my already damaged brain begins to ache.

Apart from that, nothing really out of the ordinary; the whole non-smoking thing isn’t going as planned. (Suprise) The e-cigarette was going so well until I more than likely overused it and it’s caused me to lose my voice (which is good considering my whole job is answering calls) so I’ve been sounding like a pervert down the phone recently; I’m sure the people I speak to like it really and on the plus side it stops me from yelling because I physically can’t, then it was a works night out where I drank many an alcoholic drink and hit the cigarettes hard so now I’m even worse. Such a fail.

Can’t believe how many people have started following me over the last couple of weeks, up to 311 followers now; where do people even find my blog now that the WordPress forums are boring?! Still, thanks for thinking of me, I shall come check you out after I’ve caught up on everyone else’s blogs. So behind!

Anyway, what have you all been up to? Killed anyone yet?!

Always The Usher Never The Groom

rayandkimAnd thank God right? Imagine if I were married, I already feel sorry for the poor soul that’ll eventually end up with me. I meant to write about the final of Britain’s Got Talent at the weekend although considering no one really reads those posts I thought I’d write about something else instead.

I attended my fourth wedding in the last year and a half; any excuse to get hammered. Back in September a year and a half ago I wrote about being the Usher/Best Man for my friends wedding, a friend I’ve known for 12 years. This past week I was the Usher for another friend I met at college.

Me and the Groom
Me and the Groom

Unlike the first wedding this one took place in a church, a real church wedding. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind going to weddings but I really hate going to Church, it’s such a farce. I’m not in the least bit religious yet they expect us to stand there and sing stupid hymns and say amen to bullshit prayers; naturally I didn’t partake in either because I don’t pray outside a church so I’m sure as hell not praying inside of one.

I think it’s just a gimmick these days getting married in a church and it was a lovely service it’s just not my kind of thing. If God (lol) forbid I ever do get married I doubt it’d be a church wedding and if it is, it won’t be my decision. It certainly wasn’t my friends decision this time around hah.
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What’s Going On?

racingIs it Monday already? Wait scratch that, is it nearly June already?! Where the hell has the time gone? I know I’ve been lacking on the posts as of late but then again these days that seems to be the norm.

Aside from my Britain’s Got Talent posts I haven’t been writing much of anything else, just a usual case of work tiring me out that much mentally that I just can’t bring myself to write anything. I still haven’t even touched that novel I wrote in November, what a loser.

Still I thought I’d take some time out of my busy schedule considering I’m off work today and just see what’s up every one recently. As you have already seen I posted a Britain’s Got Talent post earlier, no doubt you’ll be glad when it’s over so I can write about decent stuff again but worry not I wrote a Music Monday (gasp) which’ll be posted later.

Hard to believe I’ve been at this job for 8 months now, the time has certainly gone by quickly yet it feels like I’ve been there longer. While I still voice* my opinions when I don’t agree about something it’s still probably one of the best jobs I’ve had and as we all know I’ve had some fucking jobs in my time. Packing glasses comes to mind. That was a low point of my life; all I got out of that was an addiction to pain killers.
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