No Words

WilliamsI used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.

It’s not.

The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.

– Robin Williams
1951 – 2014




I’m going to self indulge today, I hope you don’t mind.

Six months ago I wrote about the arrival of a new kitten due to one of the cats going missing, only for it to return and us ending up with four cats in total. In Lost And Found I wrote about how annoyed I got when we’d get a replacement cat because then it’s just another thing I’m going to get attached to only for it to eventually be torn away.

jay3It’s with a heavy heart that I must say this has happened again. I woke up for work just like any other morning, started getting ready for work and took a look outside to see if it was snowing (it was snowing yesterday morning you see) but what I saw wasn’t snow; it was Jay laying in the road, his head surrounded by a pool of blood.

Must have happened between 6am – 6:25am as that’s when my mother left the house and when I looked out of the window. I threw my clothes on and rushed outside; he’d obviously just ran out into the road right in front of an incoming car, his poor little head caved under the pressure of the tire. I imagined him to have died instantly which is at least some comfort, at least he wasn’t hit and died alone writhing in pain.
Continue reading “Lost”

Lost Mind

Me In 50 Years

What’s going on people? Miss me? I’m sure you have, I’m awesome.

I have still yet to return from Scotland, I’ll probably head back on Monday, still have my cousins wedding to attend tomorrow which I’m sure will be bags of fun =/. The thing about weddings is, unless I’m not directly involved I just find them boring.

I don’t want to stand in a church and sing stupid religious songs (especially considering all parties involved aren’t even religious themselves) nor do I find sitting down and standing up every five minutes especially pleasing.

“But you get to be reunited with your family.” They say, but that’s what Facebook was invented for so I wouldn’t have to. I’m probably the most disconnected member of this family, my real family are my friends that have been there for me over the years, not these half strangers. I’m no one important to this wedding, just a cousin, a cousin who lives 350 miles away, a cousin who most likely won’t even be noticed or spoken to by the bride and groom during the entire thing, much like my other cousins wedding earlier this year. At least then I had that trout faced bitch I called a girlfriend to talk to that time around.

I’m just there to add to the numbers. I’m not bitter or anything, it’s just a fact. I fully expect them to be bored and pointless when they attend my wedding (LOL). Never the less, here I am up north and have been since I returned home from Leeds Festival last Monday; shit, showered, shaved and I was straight up here in the car.
Continue reading “Lost Mind”

Whisper Of A Thrill

We are born.

We walk.

We learn.

We know.

Develop concern.

We grow.

Get jobs.

Disapprove of snobs.

Call them knobs.

We meet.

Enjoy the greet.


Our knees go weak.

Whisper of a thrill.

You give me the will.

To keep on.

Carry on.

Deal with life.

Forget death.

To cope with strife.

You show me love.

My heart floats above.

We marry.

Over the threshold you’re carried.

New life is created.


We argue.

We hate.

You leave.

I grieve.

Tear stained sleeves.

Years go on pining for each other.

Reconnect with one another.

Whisper of a thrill.

And forget all the bother.

Grow old together.

What a life we’ve lead.

We’ve sweat, we’ve cried, we’ve bled.

You die.

I cry and ask why.

In the ground you lie, underneath the blue polluted sky.

We’ll meet again in the after life.

I go on alone.

Broken heart.

I tear apart.

Fall down.

Hit the ground.

I fail to fight.

See the light.

Lose my sight.

Six foot under.

I hear the thunder.

There’s your face.

I’m in the right place.

Whisper of a thrill.

Maybe You Should’ve Stuck To Rehab

So everyone pretty much knows by now that Amy Winehouse, aged 27 died Saturday afternoon around 4pm in London. The real sad thing is everyone expected it to happen sooner or later which is pathetic for anyone in their 20’s. Now I have my opinions on it, I’m not closed minded, or ignorant, this is just what’s in my mind, I can’t help my feelings on the matter anymore than anyone else can.

So if this particular piece is something some of you may not agree on, *shrugs* get over it.

Having reported health issues as early as three years ago, her own father said she was ill due to chain smoking and taking crack cocaine. What really pisses me off is the sympathy she’s getting, I’ve seen it plastered all over Facebook and various other places, yeah she was a talented musician but aside from that, a horrible human being in my opinion, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me but this is what I’ve always thought about her.
Continue reading “Maybe You Should’ve Stuck To Rehab”

Born In The Wrong Decade

I’ve always thought this, even from a young age.

I was born in 1985 in Oldham, England, moved to Chesterfield in North East Derbyshire at the age of 3, still living with my parents at age 25. There’s nothing I want more than to move out but I can barely afford to buy petrol to run my car, my overdraft in my bank is £1500, of which I am currently overdrawn by £1100.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so stupid to think that there wasn’t debt decades ago, but I doubt it’s as easily achievable as it is today.
Continue reading “Born In The Wrong Decade”