Luckiest Man In The World

ThankYouWhile I write this, I must admit that I am currently quite intoxicated; I had attended a work friends wedding where I some how managed a jagerbomb, two pints of bitter and 9 Jack Daniels and cokes on an empty stomach. I know; you must think me a legend, you wouldn’t be mistaken.

However as a result of that I find the room spinning and writing this is all I can do to stop me from wasting £40 worth of drinks. It’s also at this stage where I feel quite sentimental, Pete Howorth, the ‘Ardest man that ever lived, feeling sentimental; shocking right?

I don’t know if anyone reads this anymore but it helps me get things off of my mind and it’ll probably help me sleep better, anyway you never know what a drunk Pete will say. (Only to more than likely regret it in the morning)

But it’s these sort of times where I realise that I am lucky to be the person who I am. I live a life where my brains constantly switched on, so much so that I probably only average three to four hours of sleep a night just because for one reason or another I lay awake at night constantly second guessing every single thing I did that day. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’ve made so many mistakes over the years; I try and make sure I don’t repeat history.
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GUEST POST: The Goings On In My Brain

Wonder (emotion)As we rapidly approach my one year anniversary for Evolution of Insanity/Hatred/Whatever I’m Calling It These Days; there’s another first for me today as Joy of MissMeddle asked if she could do a guest post for my blog.

Me being the lazy bastard I am jumped at the chance for some content to be posted that I’ve not had to write myself, my ultimate dream :D.

Could this be the first of a long line of people thinking I’m that awesome they need to show off their work on my blog? Let’s hope so.

Anyway, get to reading and then afterwards go ahead to her blog and check out her other posts; even though her posts are few they’re still very much worth reading and hopefully she’ll have a lot more to say in the future!

The Goings On In My Brain

In my head, I am a fairytale waiting to happen. I will experience adventure, laughter, lots of travel; most of all, a happy ever after of genuine happiness shared with the love of my life…

No matter that I’m so shy; sometimes, leaving the house has me sweating and peeing every two minutes.

No matter that most of my life has been spent in one place; it’s all about positive thinking, really. I write “Jos” on each book I buy, in wild hopes that someday, I’ll write something else.

And it’s of no consequence that all around me, in relationships of various strengths, all I see is lies, dishonesty and infidelity (I’ve also been guilty of this).

Heaven forbid my actual life get in the way of my wanderings – I’ve been given two mild bouts of great moodiness since my teenage years, and generally expect too much from life to retain much innocent surprise about most things.

No, none of this so-called “logic” exists in my parallel universe. There, I lose all shyness, becoming a self-confident, poised young woman. I lose all the awkwardness of my semi-tomboy childhood, lose all clumsiness and become graceful, elegant.

Of course, no human can attain perfection, so I’d probably still have some flaws. Like, my eyelashes could be too long, or my skin could glow a tad too much… Ok, maybe I could retain my weird, bushy eyebrows.

Basically, though, I’d be able to make friends with strange girls (as opposed to most of them instantly hating me), I’d be friendly with guys while firmly keeping them at romantic arms length, and I’d be able to make small talk, which I hate. I’d also be able to figure out my purpose in life. Essentially; I would “find myself”.

Strange, but true. In real life (let’s call it RL), I’m very cynical, sarcastic and don’t care much for clichés. In Fantasy (or Fake) life- FL – I’m open, and the world’s worst romantic. Flowers, poetry, candle/moonlight dinners, dancing, completing each other’s sentences (uggh! RL shudder), growing old together, the works.

I know the script for FL so well – I leave the bosom of my family (and Jos), called by fate, destiny, whatever; ride off into the sunset, spend a few months setting up on my own for the first time, find myself in the process, then my soulmate, and on to happy ever after…

For now though; I’m still in Jos.

Welcome To Life

Welcome to life.

The great unknown.

It starts with a cry… the first of many.

First step.

First day.

First time.

Childhood friends.

Playground bullies.

Fractured families.

Come of age and fly the nest.

Ambitions to be the best.

Loss of innocence, life changing event…

Console each other, restore each other.

Travel the world to find one another.

Keep in touch.

Out and proud.

The quiet, the loud.

We love.

We hate.

Build

Destroy

Create.

Celebrate.

Discriminate.

Rise up and demonstrate.

We starve.

Consume.

From bus to boom.

The fast lane.

Fast food.

Bad moods.

We express ourselves.

Undress ourselves.

Allow this life to stress ourselves.

We take life.

We make life.

Record it.

Observe it.

Do everything we can to preserve it.

Break the mould.

Make the rules.

Choose a God.

Do not suffer fools.

We share it.

Grin and bear it.

Lose it all.

Find the drive.

We strive to thrive because…

We are alive.

Welcome to life.

Credit: Welcome To Life Promo on ITV

Born In The Wrong Decade

I’ve always thought this, even from a young age.

I was born in 1985 in Oldham, England, moved to Chesterfield in North East Derbyshire at the age of 3, still living with my parents at age 25. There’s nothing I want more than to move out but I can barely afford to buy petrol to run my car, my overdraft in my bank is £1500, of which I am currently overdrawn by £1100.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so stupid to think that there wasn’t debt decades ago, but I doubt it’s as easily achievable as it is today.
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A Lifetime of Stargate

I can’t think of a better thing to talk about for my first post than probably my favourite television show(s) of all time, Stargate.

When I was 8 or 9 years old I remember seeing a poster for an upcoming film, I was well into sci-fi at that age, I loved anything with the word star in it, whether it was Star Trek or Star Wars. My dad took me to see this film Stargate in 1994, starts off in Giza, Egypt in 1928 and we get our first glimpse of the large metal circle, nine chevrons, a whole load of symbols around the edge.  We soon cut to a young girl who manages to get her self an amulet, the Eye of RA.
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