Luckiest Man In The World

ThankYouWhile I write this, I must admit that I am currently quite intoxicated; I had attended a work friends wedding where I some how managed a jagerbomb, two pints of bitter and 9 Jack Daniels and cokes on an empty stomach. I know; you must think me a legend, you wouldn’t be mistaken.

However as a result of that I find the room spinning and writing this is all I can do to stop me from wasting £40 worth of drinks. It’s also at this stage where I feel quite sentimental, Pete Howorth, the ‘Ardest man that ever lived, feeling sentimental; shocking right?

I don’t know if anyone reads this anymore but it helps me get things off of my mind and it’ll probably help me sleep better, anyway you never know what a drunk Pete will say. (Only to more than likely regret it in the morning)

But it’s these sort of times where I realise that I am lucky to be the person who I am. I live a life where my brains constantly switched on, so much so that I probably only average three to four hours of sleep a night just because for one reason or another I lay awake at night constantly second guessing every single thing I did that day. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’ve made so many mistakes over the years; I try and make sure I don’t repeat history.
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Fear

OldAgeSo it’s been awhile since I’ve done this blogging malarky, so bear with me.

Does anyone even read/visit this thing anymore? I don’t know, I’m not the world megastar I used to be. But never the less I’ve been wanting to get back into it for awhile but I sit in front of a computer all day at work; struggling with the desire to just stand up and yell “FUCK THIS” and walk out. So by the time I get home all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide until I’m demanded to show my face again.

The other day a friend asked me what I fear the most; not the sort of fear you’d grant spiders or giant moths, but what really scares me. The thing that’s constantly in the back of my mind.

Too be honest, I’m pretty thick skinned and I rarely show my true emotions so I don’t often share a great deal with many people.

But I will tell you the one thing that’s constantly at the back of my mind, the one thing that worries me on a daily basis, the thing that fills my mind when I shut my eyes. For many people the one thing that they fear the most is death; that not knowing what lies beyond your final breath; for many they believe in a religion and it helps them day in and day out; believing that what you do when you’re alive will decide your ultimate fate whether it be heaven, hell or even reincarnation, but I personally believe that after we close our eyes for the last time what lies beyond is nothingness.

Do you remember what life was like before you were born? No of course you don’t because you didn’t exist and I think that after we die we’ll simply cease to exist again. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, we get our years on this Earth and when your time comes that’s it; you’ll just be no more.

So no death does not scare me, because once you’re dead you’ll feel no more pain, physical or mental and believe me I’ve had my fair share of both over my three decades on this planet.

So what really frightens me to my very core then? Quite simply, old age.
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Whisper Of A Thrill

We are born.

We walk.

We learn.

We know.

Develop concern.

We grow.

Get jobs.

Disapprove of snobs.

Call them knobs.

We meet.

Enjoy the greet.

Speak.

Our knees go weak.

Whisper of a thrill.

You give me the will.

To keep on.

Carry on.

Deal with life.

Forget death.

To cope with strife.

You show me love.

My heart floats above.

We marry.

Over the threshold you’re carried.

New life is created.

Elated.

We argue.

We hate.

You leave.

I grieve.

Tear stained sleeves.

Years go on pining for each other.

Reconnect with one another.

Whisper of a thrill.

And forget all the bother.

Grow old together.

What a life we’ve lead.

We’ve sweat, we’ve cried, we’ve bled.

You die.

I cry and ask why.

In the ground you lie, underneath the blue polluted sky.

We’ll meet again in the after life.

I go on alone.

Broken heart.

I tear apart.

Fall down.

Hit the ground.

I fail to fight.

See the light.

Lose my sight.

Six foot under.

I hear the thunder.

There’s your face.

I’m in the right place.

Whisper of a thrill.

Welcome To Life

Welcome to life.

The great unknown.

It starts with a cry… the first of many.

First step.

First day.

First time.

Childhood friends.

Playground bullies.

Fractured families.

Come of age and fly the nest.

Ambitions to be the best.

Loss of innocence, life changing event…

Console each other, restore each other.

Travel the world to find one another.

Keep in touch.

Out and proud.

The quiet, the loud.

We love.

We hate.

Build

Destroy

Create.

Celebrate.

Discriminate.

Rise up and demonstrate.

We starve.

Consume.

From bus to boom.

The fast lane.

Fast food.

Bad moods.

We express ourselves.

Undress ourselves.

Allow this life to stress ourselves.

We take life.

We make life.

Record it.

Observe it.

Do everything we can to preserve it.

Break the mould.

Make the rules.

Choose a God.

Do not suffer fools.

We share it.

Grin and bear it.

Lose it all.

Find the drive.

We strive to thrive because…

We are alive.

Welcome to life.

Credit: Welcome To Life Promo on ITV

The 1st Anniversary

Today is the one year anniversary since I started going out with my girlfriend, Fiona. Quite the landmark moment in my eyes as it’s the longest I’ve been going out with someone for about a decade. The past ten years have been mainly spent whoring my way through Chesterfield and Sheffield (and France at one point hah). I met Fiona quite a few years ago as she used to go out with one of my best mates Will.

The two didn’t work out as Will ended up dumping her in front of us lot, he’s not very good when it comes to women obviously. Over the years though me and Fiona grew to be close friends, she got me the job at Ibis Hotel. Our shifts together were always awesome and stress free. Then she left to go and work in France for the summer which sucked as she was my favourite person to work with.

She came back from France a few months later because she’d had enough, I was the one that drove four hours to go and pick her up. She was the one person that used to take me to hospital whenever I’ve been involved in a fight in town (that I never start obviously. I’m a nice guy until you piss me off) or done something stupid like hit one of those punch bags in the pubs that test your strength and end up breaking my hand. Continue reading “The 1st Anniversary”

A Lifetime of Stargate

I can’t think of a better thing to talk about for my first post than probably my favourite television show(s) of all time, Stargate.

When I was 8 or 9 years old I remember seeing a poster for an upcoming film, I was well into sci-fi at that age, I loved anything with the word star in it, whether it was Star Trek or Star Wars. My dad took me to see this film Stargate in 1994, starts off in Giza, Egypt in 1928 and we get our first glimpse of the large metal circle, nine chevrons, a whole load of symbols around the edge.  We soon cut to a young girl who manages to get her self an amulet, the Eye of RA.
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