OldAgeSo it’s been awhile since I’ve done this blogging malarky, so bear with me.

Does anyone even read/visit this thing anymore? I don’t know, I’m not the world megastar I used to be. But never the less I’ve been wanting to get back into it for awhile but I sit in front of a computer all day at work; struggling with the desire to just stand up and yell “FUCK THIS” and walk out. So by the time I get home all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide until I’m demanded to show my face again.

The other day a friend asked me what I fear the most; not the sort of fear you’d grant spiders or giant moths, but what really scares me. The thing that’s constantly in the back of my mind.

Too be honest, I’m pretty thick skinned and I rarely show my true emotions so I don’t often share a great deal with many people.

But I will tell you the one thing that’s constantly at the back of my mind, the one thing that worries me on a daily basis, the thing that fills my mind when I shut my eyes. For many people the one thing that they fear the most is death; that not knowing what lies beyond your final breath; for many they believe in a religion and it helps them day in and day out; believing that what you do when you’re alive will decide your ultimate fate whether it be heaven, hell or even reincarnation, but I personally believe that after we close our eyes for the last time what lies beyond is nothingness.

Do you remember what life was like before you were born? No of course you don’t because you didn’t exist and I think that after we die we’ll simply cease to exist again. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, we get our years on this Earth and when your time comes that’s it; you’ll just be no more.

So no death does not scare me, because once you’re dead you’ll feel no more pain, physical or mental and believe me I’ve had my fair share of both over my three decades on this planet.

So what really frightens me to my very core then? Quite simply, old age.
Continue reading “Fear”


Insert Loud Angry Roar

I’ve been neglecting again! My last three posts have been reblogs, so it’s probably about time I carry on ranting about how much I hate my life.

This week started out with so much promise and ultimately has turned out to be a disaster like every other week, after the boss having the nerve to extend my probation by a month because “I’m good at everything I do apart from talking to customers because I sound fed up all the time” at the end of last week. Where I said to him, the only reason I sound fed up is because I am fed up, understaffed and overworked all the time would make anyone sound fed up over the phone.

He seems to forget the fact that I constantly receive e-mails thanking me for getting customers their orders on time, when promised especially after someone in another department has fucked up their job and can’t be bothered to do it correctly. Then not let anyone know about their fuck up.

Without me there would be no customer service at that place because no one else seems to care about the customers and considering I applied for Inbound Sales, was made Assistant Sales Manager and then after being fucked around for weeks ended up being CS Manager when I was told I was to be Sales Manager I think what I’ve been handed to me I’ve done well with.
Continue reading “Insert Loud Angry Roar”

Winds Of Change


Today was kind of a big day at work. Following up from yesterdays statement that the company I work for had been sold (For the second time in a year no less) the new joint owners, the former owner, the financial director and the operations director had every department in their boardroom today separately for a little discussion on what things had gone wrong and what could be done.

Meanwhile I was in no mood for any shit today, considering I woke up to a text message from my best friend at work Michelle only to say that she’s leaving at the end of the month because she can’t concentrate on passing her exams for her degree while she’s working here.

She had already cut her hours back by eliminating working Friday (which I have to do, meaning this week I’ll be working a total of 59.5 hours). Needless to say my heart was in my throat reading that. I couldn’t be more gutted, we were so close in school and for us to be reunited at a new job was almost like a dream come true. Continue reading “Winds Of Change”


I wasn’t even planning on writing today. After the day I had at work I considered just shutting up shop and going straight to bed. Leaving everything behind until tomorrow, but after reading the blogs I subscribe to I had the itch so I may aswell tell you all about the shitty day I’ve had today.

It all started at the beginning of yet another 12 and a half hour shift. I started at 8:30am and at 8:31am I had a customer yelling at me that she hadn’t received her order because some other dumbass in the office didn’t do their job correctly so I had to lie and tell her the supplier had delayed their shipment, it went like this:

Customer: I want to speak to your superior.

Me: I beg your pardon?

Customer: Put me on to your superior now.

Me: I’m the Sales Manager, I have no superior. (I lied about that too obviously)

Customer: Right okay, well I would like to know when I’d have been notified when I’d have been receiving my order.

Me: Well obviously you wouldn’t have been because whoever took your original order in the first place wasn’t to know that there was a delay from the suppliers and we only found out about this late last week. Which as I said, I can only sincerely apologize for.

Customer: Well can you get one of the directors to call me.

Me: Directors don’t talk to customers? That’s why they employ people like me? What would you like the director to tell you? “Yes we were going to let you know tomorrow on the day your item was to arrive that you weren’t going to receive it?”

Continue reading “Ownership”


Random photo of me being 'Ard

Sorry for my absense this entire week, it’s already Friday and it only seems like it was five minutes ago since I was getting back from London. This week has been mental at work, rather than having a day unpaid I decided to work an extra day this week and I’ve swapped Saturday for Sunday due to going to see Noel Gallagher Sunday. So that’s six straight days, at least there’s only one more day left!

So much stuff has gone down in such a short amount of time it’s unreal. Basically my manager has gotten a new job elsewhere which is a shame because he was a guy that always made you laugh and calmed you down when you were angry. But of course if you can find a higher paying job then you should go for it. So he’s going the middle of next week.

Which of course makes his Customer Care Manager the new sales and e-commerce manager meaning at some point I’ll undoubtedly become the new Customer Care Manager and they’ve been trying to speed train me on everything. And I’ve been trying to pick it up as quick as possible because the customer care manager, while being great with customers isn’t all that great with his colleagues as he’s often snappy when any of us ask him something. Continue reading “…Promotion?”


Wow is it really February already? Where’s my bloody snow this year?! It’s been two months since I got fired from that God awful company I used to work for, a whole month since I was down in Brighton living it up and already over two weeks since I started at my new place.

Can’t believe it has already been four days since my last post too, this week has mainly just involved working and sleeping. Trying to fix my laptop after it got infected with some nasty malware/virus’ but luckily father came and saved the day today when he managed to sort it out for the most part. Screw you Norton Anti-Virus you useless bag of shit.

I can’t really say the stress has been lifted much at work. Less phone calls than I have been used to there today but most calls are just calls to complain about where their orders are, there definitely needs to be something changed at that place otherwise there’ll be no company for me to have a future in.
Continue reading “February”

Aggression With A Capital GR.

It’s been awhile since my last post, so I thought I would update everyone on the happenings, not much as happened apart from work, watching Lost and then bed, rinse and repeat basically.

But this week has been pretty action packed to say the least, on Facebook it now comes up with “This day in 2010” and then a status you posted a year ago, on Saturday mine came up with “First night out in Chesterfield in ages, minding my own business, nearly got hit with a pint glass and then offered out for a fight”. That was pretty much the last time I went out around Chesterfield, I don’t know if it’s because it’s boring or because I’m getting old but the place really doesn’t interest me anymore, I don’t like Chesterfield nightlife as I once did years ago. Continue reading “Aggression With A Capital GR.”